To think my son doesn’t have adhd.

[Ninahaen]

My 8 year old son is full of energy. From getting up in the morning until bedtime, he has to be doing something.

He can’t watch TV or play any type of computer game for more than 20 minutes. He always seems to want to run around and he can be loud. So I need to tell him to tone it down. He’s often scoring imaginary World Cup goals when we go on a walk in the park with the dog. Every single extra curricular activity going: he wants on it (so from recorder club to football to games club to bloody crochet club. He also does several activities during the evening/weekends and we take him to activities a lot at the weekend (swimming, bowling, trampoline park, science museum, transport museum.). As soon as we are home he wants to be doing something: either reading with me (non fiction only- he manages 15 minutes at a time), playing football (with me), board games (with me and dh), Lego. Cooking. Remote control cars. Checking countries on maps. Arranging elaborate competitions for his toy cars (involves a huge amount of record keeping and labelling things). He cannot be doing “nothing” and I’m exhausted.

i think that it’s probably normal for a child his age to be like this, as does DH. But my mum has said she thinks he has ADHD. And a random old lady in the park asked if he had ADHD (He was running about tackling imaginary football players).

Ive asked the school who said they can’t see any sign of it: he’s well behaved and doing well academically.

I don’t think he has ADHD; he’s just full of energy.
Aibu?

yabu: get him assessed for adhd
yanbu: I don’t think it sounds like he has adhd

You won't get an ADHD assessment for an energetic child. It's a lot more complex.

Tell them to stop being so rude maybe?

ADHD has to be pervasive and impairing, it doesn't sound like it is either.

I don’t think my mum was being rude. She was coming from a kind place (she finds him tiring as she’s getting old and ill)

i think the woman in the park is just so used to lots of people having kids with adhd these days.

I don’t think there is that much wrong with his attention. He pays attention at school: and ok, cants watch tv for long: but neither can I

There have to be concerns in at least two settings- normally home and school - for an assessment to be given (could be poor parenting or bad teacher, for example- no suggestion former applies to you) so no, I wouldn't ask for an assessment.

If he's not low academically and is well behaved, school won't do anything. If it's not causing issues in his life then leave the label. He's full of energy. He will have to learn how to manage this as he gets older.

But be mindful. Adhd doesn't go away. And it may present more as he gets older. Don't dismiss it but just watch for now

Can he sit still in school long enough to follow his lessons, especially as lessons get longer and more complex the older he gets. Can he self motivate to do things he doesn't really enjoy? How is his memory and can he organise himself as well as other children his age?

If he’s managing at school he can clearly pay attention when he needs to, so that’s good, and his high energy isn’t actually causing any problems.

I’d leave it for now.

You do know adhd is genetic right? The fact that you can't watch tv for long either probably isn't the argument you think it is....

Yeah. His teacher says he’s fine at school in class and she can’t see any issues.

his memory is really good: and his organisation skills are fine: he can get himself ready for school ok, and Packs his own snacks etc.

he doesn’t always want to do some things (a shower for example) and needs a wee bit gentle encouragement to do them

He sounds like a really happy, engaged, energetic child. I wouldn’t worry either.

Sounds like my six year old daughter who doesn't have it but sometimes I wonder!

That’s true. But while I can’t watch tv for long periods, I can sit for hours reading a book. At work I have to use the pomodoro technique to focus. But , I was very high achieving at school: always had “quiet and conscientious” on my report card

ADHD in young children is extremely hard to identify. It’s also very easy to misdiagnose.

Same, and an oxbridge degree and a professional career… but I do have an ADHD diagnosis.

How is he at any clubs like swimming etc

Both mine struggled with that. Lots of instruxtions and waiting for turns
Dc1 got into trouble a few times and dc2 told to stop diving down etc

Hyperactivity generally comes wirh impulsivity.
Mine dont generally watch tv now but did as toddlers etc. They will watch you tube etc.

Ime kids with adhd often like computer games etc and find it hard to stop

Is he getting exceeded at school.

I dont think school necessarily pick up. Dc1 they just thought naughty. Dc2 just isnt performing to level i would expect. Holds a lot in till home time. And explodes.
Wont sleep (has always been less than 10 hours)

Can he focus on special interests?

How would he do if you set him an hour maths paper etc or long comprehension. As that will be expectstions by y6.

My son has autism & adhd, this doesn't sound like adhd. Also it's a lot harder to get assessed than what you believe.

Just like my adhd dd. Sounds like you’re taking about hyper focus with the reading.

A real adhd trait.

Mumsnet isn’t a great place to ask this question. Why don’t you have a read around ADHD and see if you think it fits? Additude magazine is a good place to start.

My daughter has adhd. Gets herself up and dressed every day. Remembers her lunch all that stuff. She's very organised. Hyper fixation

Ummm, being well behaved and academically able does not preclude you from having adhd.

There are two things that stand out in your post that could fit but definitely wouldn’t be enough alone for a diagnosis. Constant movement obviously is one flag. Jumping around between various activities is another. Though both of these are also found in children without ADHD.

You say he wants to do all the activities. Ok, so, does he start the activity, obsessively learn about it at first but quickly tire of it and get interested in something else? This would be more symptomatic of adhd. Does he find iIt easy to focus when it is something he is interested in but not when it is something he finds boring?

You say he is very active and energetic. Does he fidget a lot and struggle to sit still? Does he have a tendency to wander off mid task and forget what he is doing? Does he struggle to focus unless he is moving around? Again, the details are important.

How is his emotional stability- any impulsiveness or mood swings? Any meltdowns?

How are his executive functioning skills? Does he lose things frequently? Is he organised? Can he keep track of dates and times? Can he follow instructions that have more than one component? Can he plan and complete complete tasks that have more than one or two steps?

It might be good to question this more but if what I have said above fits then please consider an assessment,,even if just to rule it out.

The trouble with us well behaved, academically abled ADHDers is that we fall apart when we either enter the world of work or higher education. As soon as we have to use planning and executive function skills that’s it, we are done for. It can be absolutely life ruining. In addition, all of the tasks of daily living are harder and require more effort. I spend half May Day looking for shit I have lost, turning my house upside down, getting angry with myself and being late (or showing up to things I. The wrong date or time). And this is with intervention and planning!

To go through life not knowing the reason why you struggle so much with everything is a mindfuck. It ruins your self confidence.

There is also research to show that those with adhd have worse health and financial outcomes due to impulsive decision making e.g overspending, accidental pregnancies, not being able to take prescribed medication on schedule etc

You can also have hyperactive-impulsive type ADHD where you don't have any or many of the inattentive symptoms.

He would also be showing symptoms of impulsivity too, not just hyperactivity. So for example struggling to wait his turn, interrupting in conversation, blurting out inappropriate comments, doing things without considering the consequences (eg running out in the road).

www.healthline.com/health/adhd/three-types-adhd#types

www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/adhd/symptoms-causes/syc-20350889#:~:text=A%20child%20who%20shows%20a%20pattern%20of%20hyperactive%20and%20impulsive,the%20go%2C%20in%20constant%20motion