When did you feel ready for 2nd DC

[Yesso]

DS is 9 months old, despite a few rocky months in the beginning he’s an absolute joy, he’s happy and smiley, sleeps well most of the time and I love spending time with him.
That said I absolutely can’t imagine ever doing it all again, I always wanted 2 dc and I’m thinking about it more now as with my sibling there is 18 months gap, and I know a lot of people who have had similar age gaps. I thought I’d want the same. The thought of getting pregnant now fills me with dread.

Does this sound normal, has anyone felt the same and over time has gone onto have a second?

I didn't feel ready until DS was 2. He was an awful sleeper though and very full-on. I have a second now, and if I'd had her first then I would likely have had two under two. I think it depends on the hand you're dealt and your mentality

probably felt ready at 3 had dc when dc1 was almost 5 I liked the gap, I didn't want the baby/toddler combo

We felt ready on DDs first birthday. Then a few days later thought we weren't ready... but by then it was too late 😂

Never regretted that temporary lapse of judgement. Shes 11 in a few weeks, and DD1 will be a teenager in the summer.

Yep I felt like this. I seriously considered sticking at one for a while. Then when my daughter was 2.5 I suddenly felt that I was ready for and could cope with another. I think it's quite natural not to want another for a while, from a biological perspective

I was adamant that I was one and done until DS turned one. Then I started opening up to the idea (was it coincidence that coincided with his starting nursery?!) but knew I didn't actually want a second baby any time soon.

DS is now 2.5. We decided on a 3 year age gap so just starting to try now.

I feel like if I was due to have a baby right now, I could cope with the baby and DS. But I wouldn't have been ready to get pregnant nine months ago, if that makes sense?

9 months is tiny! I’m expecting my second, my little girl was recently three. I’m so happy I won’t have two babies to look after, she’s potty trained, speech is amazing, and she’s had so much time and attention.

I originally wanted a 2 year gap but DS1 was so full on with energy that I wanted a larger gap.
I'd also lost my younger brother when DS1 was 9 months and I wanted a year when I wasn't having to jump on overnight flights with the baby every few months, planning for funerals or being weighed down in grief.
As it turned out I ended up falling pregnant when DS was 19 months so there's exactly 2 1/2 years between mine. It seemed right at the time although I'd have preferred 3 years. Those early months of DS's two-three year old energy and defiance was... tough.

DD is 10 soon. Still don't feel ready! 😄

You don't have to have an 18 month gap or a two year gap. It's biologically normal to not feel ready yet especially if you are still feeding.

Pros and cons to everything but there is some (maybe just anecdotal) evidence that larger age gaps can benefit boys in particular.

I’d have happily had a dozen more when DC1 was about six weeks old, I had serious baby fever! But having had a c-section wanted to wait at least a year, and actually by the time DC1 was 12 months I was seriously considering him being an only child.

In the end I had a “now or never”, “you never feel ready” moment when DC1 was around two and we had DC2 with a gap of just under three years. But I knew I definitely wanted two children in the long term, so was willing to just deal with the short term hard work of a baby and toddler combo. I didn’t feel dread, but I didn’t feel certainty or readiness either. No regrets though!

I think if I’d waited another year or so I would have stuck with just DC1 though - going back to the baby stage was hard, going back once DC1 was potty trained, not napping, approaching school and generally more independent just wouldn’t have happened.

DD was about a year old and had been at nursery for six weeks. She had bought germs after germs after germs into us. She had a vomiting bug. We had a vomiting bug. She'd been sick in my hair. All our towels were covered in vomit. Lots of our bedlinen. We were lying on our bed, DH and I watching her while she slept. In spite of everything we just looked at her and went 'this is pretty bloody grim... but in spite of it all she's amazing and we want another, right?'

And that was the point we decided DC2 was a thing.

(I'm not sure it'd make a romcom!)

Only when DD was 4 did I feel I could do it again.
I've not had another though (circumstances aren't ideal at home).
I wouldn't worry about not having kids close together. I know some examples of 4,5,6,7 even 10 years between siblings to work out and they get on really well.

Didn't even think about it until the first turned 2.

Ended up with a 3.5 year gap and honestly it's perfect for us. They're nearly 2 and 5 now and play together great and adore each other. I wouldn't change it.

Preschool when the youngest was born and the fact the eldest was fully toilet trained were both life savers for us! We have zero family support so a closer gap just wouldn't have been achievable anyway. I have friends with 2 under 2 and they get a lot of help.

When the first one started sleeping through the night - a least for a good few months.

I seriously thought I might be one and done, and DH was happy to respect my feelings on that. It wasn't until DS was 3 that we started even contemplating it. I'm now due DC2 in the summer - DS1 will be nearly 4.5!

8 years and a new partner.

I still don't feel ready for DC no.1 and they're turning 15 this year

When my DS was 9 months old I found out I was pregnant with DD1. They are 10 & 11 now and I love the age gap. I also love that their birthdays are spread out 6 months apart too.
I admit I did cry when I went to the hospital to have my second baby and having to leave my first. They fight like cat and dog (what sibling don't) but they wouldn't be without each other. DD2 is 6 so it a larger age gap though

I certainly didn't feel ready when I fell pregnant on the mini pill with DC2, when DC1 was nine months old. I can't say it was easy when they were younger, but they're 24 and 23 now, and get along fine.

When my dd was 7 months old, my DH asked if I'd like to start trying again and the thought genuinely filled me with dread and terror. I told him it was the last thing I wanted and could not imagine being ready for a long time.
A month later I was pregnant and had no idea.

I was absolutely devastated when I found out as I just wasn't ready and felt terrified of what life would be like with 2 under 18months but decided to go ahead with the pregnancy.

DD2 is 4.5 now and the light of our lives. She's the cuddliest, cheekiest, funniest little devil and I couldn't imagine life without her. I'm so glad I had the girls close in age because it didn't really feel like I was starting again.
I was still in the thick of sleepless nights, breastfeeding and nappies so adding another to all that wasn't such a jump.

I raise them like twins to be honest and they look pretty identical to anyone that isn't immediate family so it's easy.

My son is 8 months old and I really want another one. I’ve been really broody pretty much since the second he was born. I’d love to get pregnant now but logically I know it isn’t the right time. DS is a very demanding baby who takes up all my time and attention. I know I would really struggle with two at the moment. We plan to start trying when he’s around two and aim for around a three year age gap. The thought process is that by then he’ll hopefully be able to tell us what he needs and we won’t have two screaming babies at the same time. I do think I’m going to struggle to wait that long though and the temptation to have another now is really strong.

I wanted multiple kids all through pregnancy, newborn stage, 1 year mark... then we hit the toddler stage and yeesh - for several reasons now, we're actually considering being one and done. If we do have another though, we'll be waiting until they'd have at least a 4 year age gap. If I was a SAHM, I'd probably have them closer together though.

Im almost the opposite.

I was tepid about children.
We agreed to try but i upfront said i wasnt up for ivf or similar if we couldn't.
I was clear I'd probably only want 1
I disliked newborn phase, had a terrible time breast feeding which didnt help.

By the time DD was 10m/12m i was in awe of her, shes totally delightful. Toddlers are way better than newborns imo.

i KNEW i wanted a 2nd by then. Was happy to go through pregnancy and everything else inc fertility treatment 🤷🏻‍♀️ With a real certainty i never felt previously.

I wanted them close in age for me rather than them...maternal age and i dont want to "go back" to nappies weaning etc.
i think bigger gaps are cool too. Dh and i both have siblings with bigger gaps and it was fine.
You don't sound like you want a baby now - Personally I'd wait.

I always knew I wanted more than one. Was ready by the time DS was 1. I got my period back properly around then so hormones probably kicked in to contribute!

DS was a good sleeper. If I'd had DD first who was more typical, i might have needed a couple of years before being ready to go again.

After dd1 we were done. I had a terrible time after birth and nearly died in surgery due to placenta. We said we’re done.

7 years later we decided we wanted to do it again. I’d wanted another for years but we were struggling due to the worry I’d be ill again. Dd2 arrived at 29 weeks. Even though she was healthy, we’re definitely done this time. No more due to my body not being able to hold a pregnancy to term.

So it took us an 8 year age gap between our girls. I don’t regret it but we could have lost dd2 and I could have died both times. I can’t do it again with another. Sometimes I do wish they had a smaller age gap as dd1 grew up without a playmate but she loves dd2 fiercely so it’s not so bad. Dd1 has plenty of cousins her age so she wasn’t lonely.