To ask if ignoring my anxiety will make it worse?

[lowlevelanxious]

I have always been anxious on off, certain things trigger it for me.

For example… lately I’ve developed an anxiety around driving and loved ones driving. If I see something on the news or hear on the radio that something bad has happened on the roads it feeds my anxiety more thinking about how common it must be. If I allow myself to really think about this long enough, I get more and more anxious. The more time spent thinking about it the worse I feel. This applies to other topics like illness, war, money, work, pretty much anything!

Will ignoring it and doing something to distract myself only push it to the back of my mind and therefore not resolve it, or is ignoring anxiety kind of the only thing to do?

CBT is unhelpful to me as I’m neurodivergent and I am reluctant to take any form of medication as worried about the side effects being worse than the anxiety itself (which, as described, doesn’t bother me unless I let myself ruminate and think)

If you ignore it and it goes away, then you haven’t got Anxiety.

What exactly do you mean by 'ignore' it?

If you mean not feeding your anxiety by looking up stories that make you feel more worried and dwelling on things - then yes, of course, that is an excellent strategy.

Some people simply can't do that because part of the anxiety is that they can't stop themselves ruminating and worrying.

But indulging your anxious thoughts isn't helpful for anyone, so if you are able to distract yourself, then of course that is a great thing to do.

Being anxious and having anxiety are different things, and from your description, it sounds like you suffer from the former (not nice but if you can distract yourself, very manageable).

If you have an anxiety disorder, you cannot distract yourself from it and it can manifest physically as well as mentally and emotionally. If you start finding it increasingly difficult to distract yourself or function due to the anxiety, then the best thing you can do is seek help. I understand you reticence when it comes to meds, but they can be very helpful and a good doctor will help you find the right medication and dosage for you, so try not to discount it out of hand.

'Will ignoring it and doing something to distract myself only push it to the back of my mind and therefore not resolve it, or is ignoring anxiety kind of the only thing to do?'

You will never 'resolve' your anxiety by allowing your anxious thoughts to run riot. Your anxious thoughts are not leading you to any kind of resolution - they are just getting you into a big mess and crippling your life.

Distracting yourself is exactly what you need to do, if you are able to.

That's not the same thing as ignoring the fact that you have anxiety. It's just taking some ownership and understanding that some thoughts are not helpful.

If you recognise that you are going down a rabbit hole of anxious thinking, take a deep breath and say 'this is an anxious/ unhelpful thought' and put it to one side.

@CosyKnits I don't think we can tell OP that she does or does not have an anxiety disorder from this single post.

Are you avoiding driving or anything like that as a result of the anxiety? If you're avoiding the thing that makes you anxious that won't help. But distracting yourself from anxious / repetitive thoughts is no bad thing. Exercise can really help anxiety. You could also increase the amount of driving practice you get (e.g. a daily journey, even if its just short) to acclimatise yourself to it and help you realise that you can cope with it and nothing bad will happen.

@lowlevelanxious I have a similar problem and have autism and like you found cbt useless.
I don’t honestly know if there is an answer. I try to distract myself, sometimes I will take meds if needed (I have lorazepam to take as required) and sometimes I find that writing things down and making a plan helps if I am worried about a specific thing such as an upcoming event or something I need to deal with.
I find reminding myself of past things I have worried about which are now supplanted by current worries helps in that what is a huge worry to me today might not matter at all in a week or so.
But I certainly don’t have it sorted out. I actually had to stop driving a few years ago in part due to pain (I have physical health issues too) and in part due to severe OCD and intrusive thoughts which made me feel I couldn’t concentrate well enough to drive safely. It has been a huge loss of independence.

What helps me is gradually extending my comfort zone in areas where anxiety is worse. So when I found it excruciating even to leave the house I gradually went a bit further over weeks until I could function in the area where I live. Further afield is still hard but I'm working on it.

Distraction can help but I find that sometimes it just pushes it underground and when it comes back up its worse.

Medication wasn't possible for me because of side effects but it can help with the process of getting more comfortable with situations. The bottom line is finding what works for you and with your brain rather than against it. Good luck.

I'm also neurodivergent and am learning slowly that it's about accepting the anxiety and co existing with it, which is really really hard but does get easier. I'm working on getting well from agrophobia at the moment, and I have to accept a lot of horrible discomfort to get over my fears, including getting stuck on a traffic island too scared to keep crossing, and it's about trying to be ok with the fear and accept it is there. It's so difficult but I think it's possible maybe.

I didn't, just used OP's own words to differentiate between the two, which I think is important as they are very different states of being. I also suggested they get help if they are struggling.

Not an expert, and not diagnosed with formal anxiety but have have had periods of being very consumed by anxious thoughts/feelings mostly due to menopause. It definitely does not help to google what it is you are anxious about, speak about it all the times and yes - start threads about it. It definitely feeds the monster and the more you seek reassurance, the more your brain finds to worry about.

What helps me is distraction - preferably getting outside in the fresh air for a walk. Or mindfulness which trains your brain to focus on one thing and not let thoughts run wild. How old are you OP and is this a recent thing?

OP asked for advice/ strategies for dealing with anxious thoughts - not 'do you think I have anxiety or not?'

It's not really relevant or helpful to question whether OP has clinically diagnosable anxiety - she's already describing herself as having anxiety, and wasn't asking for opinions on that.

I'm just this minute back from the doc re anxiety/panic etc. she (in a very kind way) told me to give myself a bit of a shake. She acknowledged it's hard to get out, but said the only person who can do it for me is me ie, can't be outsourced! So I have a bit of plan now. Very small steps, but a start all the same. And going to give CBT a go.

Oh, meant to say best of luck to you. Forgot with all the waffling on about myself 😳

If I see something on the news or hear on the radio that something bad has happened on the roads it feeds my anxiety more thinking about how common it must be.

Imagine if the news reported all the millions of daily uneventful road journeys instead of the very occasional accident (which is exactly why they are newsworthy). Once you start actively looking (or listening) out for evidence to support your opinion that driving is unsafe your brain will create an alert to bring your attention to them; it's called the Reticular Activating System.

Anxiety is the emotion that draws our attention to stuff that's too important to ignore however it's not always accurate or helpful - as in this situation.

Stop giving it your attention and you'll stop noticing them.

I'm not sure why you are continuing to target my post, not sure that's helpful either - I clearly said in my original post:

If you start finding it increasingly difficult to distract yourself or function due to the anxiety, then the best thing you can do is seek help. I understand you reticence when it comes to meds, but they can be very helpful and a good doctor will help you find the right medication and dosage for you, so try not to discount it out of hand.

No one on this thread is going to be able to offer the kind of support OP needs, one persons coping strategies can be another's accelerant and in my opinion, it can be more harmful than helpful to fling out "this is what you should do" when you have no idea what state of mind the OP is really in.

'Targeting' is a very strong word for having a discussion. You're not being 'targeted' - I'm just speaking to you.

The reason I picked up on your post is because, when somebody is trying to deal with anxious thoughts and uses the phrase 'my anxiety...' it is so common for people to jump on them and say 'well you probably don't really have clinical anxiety that would be diagnosable. You're just feeling anxious. There's nothing really wrong with you.'

People diminish and deny other people's mental health concerns all the time. Anyone who has anxiety or depression will tell you about their experiences of others telling them they are probably actually fine (I'm not saying that's quite what you're doing, but you are certainly querying it, uninvited). It's diminishing and unhelpful, and the truth is, it's actually neither here nor there.

It's good that you directed OP to seek further help, but before you did that, you questioned whether there was really a problem.

People who are anxious spend enough time questioning themselves and worrying about everything - you could have just omitted that and given the advice to seek external help.

The reason I am speaking to you (not 'targeting') is because you are posting on a forum dishing out advice for people with anxiety, but what you are saying is likely to increase the OP's anxiety about whether or she has anxiety and whether it is valid for her to seek help.

If you have helpful advice about coping with anxious thoughts then share it. But what's the use in pointing out 'well you might not really have anxiety' when that's not even what OP was asking?

I schedule another time to be anxious about it. Currently waiting for some health test results that i'm really really anxious about & have to keep reminding myself that this can be worried about next week at my hospital appointment instead of today

No amount of anxiety about the outcome will affect the outcome - easier said than done but this really helps me

I don't know if you are deliberately being obtuse or if there is something else going on, but I merely echoed what was said in the OP, and I maintain that giving people advice on how to manage their anxiety can be very harmful if you do not have a real understanding of their mental state.

I am well aware of what people with anxiety go through and you might want to keep in mind when you "talk" to people, that their own experience is likely inform their response to the OP. I will leave it there but I hope you are okay, as your posts suggest you may not be (and believe me, that I do understand).

Well we agree that giving people advice on how to manage their anxiety can be harmful, so let's both leave it there because this is completely sidelining the OP's thread at this point.

I'm sorry to hear that you have also experienced struggles with anxiety.

In my experience - yes ignoring works.

Not sure if that's what the psychologists say but it works for me. I just accept that for certain periods of time I will feel anxious and tell myself it's a useless emotion.

Noe for all sorts of things, I still have the psychical stomach churning, just not the emotion or thought attached to it