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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Family holiday after rough yr

6 replies

Dipperang · 19/02/2024 18:57

I have just completed six months of chemotherapy for breast cancer, my husband is just 60, eldest daughter turning 21 the other turning 18 later this year.
My mother who is 82 and has holidays every other month including Australia at least every 2yrs has helped me out with hospital pick ups, but I do help her out considerably with things around her home. Today I told her that we were thinking of going to New York as it is on our bucket list and after such a rough year plus these milestone birthdays it be lovely thing to do we don’t holiday every year. This is a huge financial outlay for us , but we think we deserve it.
My mother has asked if she can come along and said she will pay for herself and any outstanding money that is needed. I am so shocked that she thinks this is appropriate.
She’s going to Australia in November and I mentioned that we may go to MY end of October beginning of November depending on which is cheaper on price. She said she could move her Australian holiday to see my brother and his family a couple of weeks either way . How do I tackle this?
We all find her really hard work at the best of times

OP posts:
wontforget · 19/02/2024 18:59

What is your relationship like with her?

Headstarttohappiness · 19/02/2024 19:11

I have been in a very similar situation.Nip this in the bud before it grows even longer legs than it already has.

”We really need some time together as a family.”

At the same time find something else that you can include her in - another shorter break perhaps or another family event around a festival Easter or something.

Dipperang · 21/02/2024 11:21

wontforget · 19/02/2024 18:59

What is your relationship like with her?

We have never done family holidays together, she is always v busy here there and everywhere I can never keep track on a weekly basis! I helped her declutter and move closer two yrs ago and she is abit of a hoarder so regularly go around and help with diy and sorting but stepped back when I got my diagnosis as found it too stressful as had no headspace so she usually comes to me after my chemo session for a cuppa afterwards.

OP posts:
Dipperang · 21/02/2024 11:24

Headstarttohappiness · 19/02/2024 19:11

I have been in a very similar situation.Nip this in the bud before it grows even longer legs than it already has.

”We really need some time together as a family.”

At the same time find something else that you can include her in - another shorter break perhaps or another family event around a festival Easter or something.

Thinking the same … but not sure this would happen as she is generally away overnight at least once a fortnight!

OP posts:
Toptops · 13/03/2024 22:51

We need some time together as a family is good.
Don't let her come!

Kitkat1523 · 13/03/2024 23:41

Why are you shocked ? Fine for her ask….fine for you to say no….my mum came to Canada for 3 weeks at 85 no problem…..just an aside check out travel insurance costs before you book….if you are less than 12 months post your last surgery or treatment date ….then insurance to US will be very expensive ….and with some insurers refused….. one you get to 3 years or more from date of last treatment the cost comes down some

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