AIBU to refuse to accept this parcel?

[SteppingStonesOfDoom]

There’s a bit of a back story so feel free to skip the first paragraph, I just don’t want to drop feed.
I moved into my house ten years ago. Met the people who used to live here who seemed lovely. They stayed friends with the neighbours and as I became friendly with them, I started to socialise with the previous home owners too. A few years ago there was a big scandal. I don’t want to go into too much detail, but the police came, it made the local papers and social services were involved. She was very vocal in what had happened, and was definitely leaving him and taking the kids for their safety. Then one day I saw them in town. All happy families and smiling and joking about the big mistake being blown out of proportion. I’m not going to lie, I’m disgusted that she has decided to stay with him. I have personal issues which mean I cannot understand why she has made this choice and I just can’t be friends with her anymore. I didn’t say anything, I just stopped initiating contact. If she had messaged I would have answered, but she never did, so that was that.

A few months ago, I got a parcel to the house addressed to her. I contacted her and explained and received a message saying she would come that afternoon to collect. I explained I would be out and received a curt reply telling me to leave it on the doorstep for her. No thank you, no politeness at all. Last month another parcel arrived. Again I texted her and again I was told to just leave it outside and she would collect it when she got a chance. She didn’t ask when I’d be in, just leave it on the step. No please or thank you, just the assumption I would leave it out for her. Today, another parcel has arrived and I’ve refused to take it. I don’t know why she’s using my address after all these years, but I’m not happy about it. I don’t want to be in contact with her, I don’t want to have parcels sitting around on my doorstep and me waiting to see if/when she will collect. But now I’m feeling guilty. Should I have taken her parcel in again?

No you are not being unreasonable, maybe it will stop her using your address

Is she using your address because she isn't meant to be living with him maybe?

Nope. She could easily be involved in some shady shit and is directing parcels to your house because she’s ordering something illegal. And then there’s the fact she’s a rude cow.

Don't feel guilty, she is taking the piss

Seriously odd thread. Parcels arriving at one's adress ten years after the previous person has moved. What next IMO?

There may be a bit more to the story, OP? Did you agree before to accept and have you accepted any other items/mail etc in the last few years?

I hadn’t thought that she might be saying she’s living with me, it’s only a few random parcels though not regular post.

she used to get her post delivered here loads when she first moved out and I’d pass it along when I saw her, but everything slowly got redirected and we’ve not had anything in years. I’d not spoken to her since the incident so I’ve definitely not indicated she should get things delivered to me

I agree with everyone else, don't feel guilty, you've done far more than I ever would have. Next parcel that arrives, Return to Sender, she'll soon get the message. It is very suspicious that parcels are coming to you for her after all these years though.

We’ve lived in our house 6 years. We still get post for the previous people. Including mortgage statements and letters for various clubs they were involved in. Last week a man actually knocked on the door and asked about them. A couple of years ago he’d posted a key for the club house through our door.
We’ve never had any contact with the previous owners and no forwarding address. This stuff does happen, some people are just rubbish

We got mail for the previous resident of our house for about 17 years- mostly church stuff, charity stuff or junk mail! But this is different. This is not ‘just happening’.

The former owner is either ordering stuff to be delivered to OP’s house or asking people to send parcels there..

OP, you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. What this woman is doing is WRONG - and she knows it. It’s probably why she’s so brusque with you. You were so right not to take it; hopefully this will stop her doing whatever she is doing!

I've lived in my flat for 12 years and I used to get 4 different peoples post. I started down the 'not known at this address' route. Then I went to my local post office and told them I only wanted post with my name on. No more strangers post.
Then, I started getting parcels for the same address as me but a different post code. That one got written on pointing out the postcode.
As for your unwanted parcels, why should you take them in? She's not a neighbour and you don't want to associate with her.
I wouldn't feel guilty if I was you.
Not your circus, not your monkeys.

That was my thought too.

"A few years ago there was a big scandal. I don’t want to go into too much detail, but the police came, it made the local papers and social services were involved. She was very vocal in what had happened, and was definitely leaving him and taking the kids for their safety."

Social services involvement, taking the kids for their safety, now after TEN YEARS parcels are being delivered to her old address, where she knows the current owner is able to reach her? She doesn't even ask you to pass it to her old friends the neighbours, just she'll come and fetch it from your doorstep?

Dodgy. As. Fuck.

No, I wouldn't accept parcels for her either.

i would stop accepting parcels too. Why should you ? and it's weird she is ordering stuff to be delivered to your address after 10 years not living there ..

It's just wrong. Many reasons why, but wrong. Definitely decline them.

Apart from anything else, parcels sitting on a doorstep basically advertise that the house is empty... I wouldn't be leaving parcels on the step regularly for that reason alone.

Absolutely not unreasonable to refuse it. Even with none of the back story.

I’ll happily take parcels for the neighbours, but a couple of times have been asked to take one for the one house on the street which is basically empty. I do have their contact details but I’m not chasing them to collect it when they only pop in every six months!

Bring it to the post office and tell them they're not at your address. When I get letters for previous owners I write 'not at this address' in big writing and put in post box.

I like that. Not your circus not your monkeys. Got any more like that?

@bctf123 Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it

Leaving all back story aside, I wouldn't take it in. If it's damaged etc you'll get blamed and I just couldn't be arsed with it.

We've been in our house for just over two years and a package arrived for previous occupant the other day. I'm assuming a genuine mistake but I refused it. The wife (whose kids still go to the school down the road) turned up to ask for it later that day but told her we'd refused it. She totally understood and went on her way.