I am at my wits end and am in need of some perspective. My husband has an enmeshed relationship with his family (whatever they say goes and any boundaries that may be set are met with tantrums and sulking), indeed it has been the route cause of a lot of conflict within our marriage and it is growing old. Recently during a visit with the wider in laws, one of my in laws dropped his bag of coke by accident and it was discovered, luckily by one of the adults, before one of my kids did (they are all under 10 years of age). I am enraged and to make things worse I have been told that under no circumstances am I to discuss it with them or anyone else. There are wider issues involved with this family but I simply don't know what to do for the best. Leave them (husband too) but then they will have unsupervised access to my kids (my husband has admitted to me that he was emotionally and physically abused by them when he was a child) or stick it our until they are grown and then get the hell out of Dodge!! He cannot be trusted to protect our kids (I have set boundaries with them and it has caused no end of drama) and I do believe they are in danger when around them (they have a number of large, aggressive dogs which have already bitten my husband). I can and am prepared to stick it our until they are grown (I am emotionally detached from them all) but how far do I push my husband to either step up or do I just call the authorities (the relative in question has their own kids) and get some professionals involved?
So AIBU to expect my husband to protect his children?