I hate hate hate being a mum today

[Nononoohnono]

I’m just sounding off but oh god I just want to fast forward time.

My seven month old is literally fighting me. Grabbing chunks of my hair and yanking it, grabbing the skin on my face and neck and twisting it. If I put her down she flings herself around and screams. My poor three year old gets completely ignored because of it all, and understandably it’s affected him and our relationship. I don’t wish I’d not had them but I hate this stage so much.

So much sympathy. Both mine were like that and it's just not as simple as leaving them in a cot or anything like that. Being out of the house loads has been my lifeline and weirdly they seem calmer with other people (maybe it's the milk thing?) so playgroups etc have helped. It's a phase and you'll be through it soon...

Has weaning been an issue? My DS2 was very fussy with starting weaning and I think it was tough on his tummy. We have taken it slowly. I struggled getting him to have calpol - I ended up syringing it onto a metal teaspoon and that was easier for us. He's now ten months and will take it more easily.

Tomorrow is a new day!

Sympathy from me 2 years down the line with a similar age gap. However this sounds extreme.. definitely consult a GP (skip the health visitor- I’ve had nothing but inconsistent inaccurate advice from them)

Solidarity OP my one year old
Is grabbing
Biting pulling scratching phase atm
To nightmare.
Agree with people pop some
Toys down and and let her play

Maybe a visit to the GP? My friends baby was like this and it was a real struggle - couldn't cuddle or comfort her as she would stiffen her back and just thrash around. Wouldn't breastfeed, would come off the breast and scream so changed to bottle feeding which was better. Turned out she was having recurrent ear infections and it was only resolved when she had grommets fitted and the amount of gunk that drained out of her poor little ears was gruesome! She must have been in real pain 😢

If it started at 6.5 months, did it coincide with starting weaning?

Medicine wise you can try Nurofen, it's a different taste so you never know! I

<clutches pearls at all the comments of "its the worst phase" etcetc from mums with young children.

I has 2 prem high needs babies due to growth retardation .... and i can honestly say , this is just a walk in the park compared to fast forward a few years.

My eight month old son is exactly the same. Constantly pulling my hair and my face, hitting me. He will only nap on me and won’t let me put him down or leave him for 2 seconds. I breastfeed and he bites my nipples and laughs while he’s doing it. Honestly a demon child (I’m half joking). Granted it’s not as difficult for me because he’s my only child and I’m able to put all my attention into being beaten up without worrying about looking after anyone else, but it’s still hard. The only way I’m getting through it is to take breaks wherever I can. I get DH to hold him as much as possible when he’s home, if people come to visit they hold him etc. He doesn’t seem to do it as much with other people.

My first was like this for nearly the first year of his life- it was not a fun time. I was grateful to return to work at 9 months and wished the childminder luck - the first one said he was too hard work after a week 🤦‍♀️
gorgeous and happy since and my second was a different baby but just sending lots of unmumsnet like hugs your way! Do what works for you - for me it was seeing people and keeping busy. The house suffered but I figured my mental health mattered more. I also left him with dh every Sat morning and did a long big shop. He would cry the whole time (ds not dh..) but I needed that space and for someone to get how hard work he was!!

As my son got older I realised he had sensory processing disorder so clothes and particularly labels would make him very agitated. Too much going on like tv, lights, other noises would do this too. If u are breastfeeding think about removing onions and things that might cause wind?
good luck

Sounds rubbish for all of you. Your poor toddler sounds very patient.

Different brands of calpol sit differently. Another option is swimming because they're able to do lots of moving which helps stimulate the gut and for non-walkers it means they can move more too.

Swap the milk over too. Try different ones like organic cows milk for a week. Sometimes there's just something about that cow on that week (maybe antibiotics given to cow?) That just doesn't work and then a few months later it's fine.

You sound like you could do with the calpol too - that twisting on the neck sounds horrendous!

My LO 11 months and still doing this. (Not quite mobile yet so feel its frustration)

I put her in jumperoo and hide haha sometimes if she cant see me she will get distracted then burn the energy off jumping.

Or i let her thrash around and scream it out on me. I just hold her so she can't hurt herself then once shes had her wobble and blown off steam i can settle her with a bit of milk or a snack and i sit her down next to me and we have quiet time 😂

I had a friend over and she was watching like omg...shes angry 😅 but shes always been an intense baby, at 6 weeks old she would wake us up kicking the cot, the ceiling would thud and you'd see her cot shake 🤣🤣

She isn’t having cows milk, she’s only seven months. I know she can have it in her food but she isn’t really eating - only tiny amounts go in.

My ‘poor toddler’ (thank you) is very patient, yes.

The ‘just you wait’ poster, I’d be banned if I said what I actually think.

Uhoh. I'm the mum of a prem FGR baby. Are you able to say how it gets worse? I thought we just needed her growth to stabilise (which it seems to have done, albeit following a tiny percentile).

Sorry that things have been so hard, for you and for the OP. OP, my DD is the same age and after a sweet spot at around 5 months I've found the last six or so weeks very tricky - they seem to need you all the time but not always want you when it comes down to it.

Just put the 7mo down in a playpen, let them scream, and play with your 3yo. It won’t hurt the 7mo at all, but what you are currently doing is hurting the 3yo! When you have multiple kids, there has to be compromises and those compromises need to be all round, not just one sided with one or two younger ones.

@HoppingPavlova

I was think this too

I'm not sure anyone would enjoy motherhood having to face that OP.
Could you try swaddling her with a blanket when you're feeding or cuddling her so you don't get grabbed? And perhaps try a playpen lined with roll mats. That way, she can throw herself around all she wants without getting hurt.

Sympathy, you're doing a great job. My high needs baby turned into a lovely child and our easiest teenager. But it was so tough. Hang in there.

Sending sympathy OP, it does get better with time. Wish I could come and help you have a break. Some great suggestions here, the issue with my ds turned out to be ear infections too, so worth getting this checked if you can. Swimming definitely seemed to help too.

This is such a lovely and helpful reply!

I don’t believe for a second any of you would actually try to sit and play with a three year old while a baby screams and flings themselves around getting increasingly frantic. (And if you would, shame on you.)

Solidarity.

Of course you can’t ignore a screaming baby. People who say that have babies who whinge, not scream.

You need some time off. You need someone to take the baby for a bit so you can hang out with the 3yo, and take them both so you can lie in a dark room (or whatever).

You need to make clear to you DH/ DM / whoever that this is something you NEED or you and the children will not be ok.

It will still be shit after the time off, but you will be better able to cope.

Love from another mum who had a high needs baby.

I’m fairly wits teeth. We’re just trying to survive!

It sounds extreme hence suggestions.

Oh my love I know that feeling. I'm so sorry. You have my sympathy. X

What a kind and helpful comment.