Posting here for traffic - I am paniking and need to clear my head .

[Namecnangeforthis]

Namechanged for this .
Dh and i have saved up for twp years to go on a holiday and pay for a dog sitter for a dog that has quite a lot of care needs ( hence not been on holiday abroad for over ten years) It was booked to return a week before dh needs surgery( not life saving but awaited and date got .
Yesterday we where advised that a much loved relative is really ill - they have multiple co morbidities and are v elderly and taken into hospital with infections.

We are not allowed to go and see them atm as not well enough .

we dont know wether to cancel the holiday , dog sitter , surgery - all which are in 3 weeks time . Frame from now Holiday then week after surgery .
am so worried about relative and cant seem to organize my thoughts

Sorry to hear of all this.

Clearly your DH’s surgery needs to go ahead. The rest is all up to you but his health is of vital importance, whatever else is going on in the world.

Hmm tricky one, could you afford to do that financially? I am not sure what would be covered if you cancel. I know from Travel insurance claims my friend has made when she cancelled a trip was that evidence of illness (her husband was very unwell) had to be provided etc.

Take a breath. Don’t do anything now. You’ve got time to think, process and react. It’s three weeks, not three hours.

Definitely, definitely don’t cancel the surgery.

No, just keep it booked as you won't gwt tour money back. The relative may be better by then too.

You don't need to decide this today.

You don't even need to decide this tomorrow.

Take a breath, await further news of relative, speak to doctors if you can about what they think the prognosis is before you make any decisions.

Deep breaths. As others have said, this doesn't need a decision right now. It can wait.

Personally I'd see how the situation develops today, and in the meantime get my travel insurance docs out and see if it is possible to cancel and get a refund in these circumstances. That way you know where you stand financially. DH's surgery also doesn't need a decision now, that can even wait until a few days beforehand. You've got time.

Then as the week goes on and you receive news of your relative, you can decide what to do.

Pretty sure my insurance wont cover this as a reason for cancelation . She is my godmother to whom I am very close - closer than other relatives emotionalky - she is related by marriage not blood . So I don't think the insurance counts .

Don't cancel the surgery. I'd say that needs to happen.
The holiday is up to you. You've spent the money. Sounds like you won't get much, if anything back. So, do you want to go on holiday? If you cant see your godmother anyway, is there any benifit to staying in the uk?

SnowsFalling · its. Because i am fearful she may not make it and I wd need to attend to that as her husband is elderly .

Whatever happens DONT cancel dh surgery

You are not allowed to visit the sick Godparent but is anyone visiting that could pass on a message from you? Just your love and thoughts?

You probably won't get any holiday refund so leave that issue on a back burner till the last minute, literally.

Are there no other family members on hand to help if the worst happened while you were away?

How far away are you going?

BMW6 her husband is not well . They do have one adult child who isnr in the best of heath either.
I just could not miss a funeral
tenerife - but we wd struggle to afford additional flight home if we needed to come back but maybe we cd do that .

Well in the worst case scenario and your GM dies while you were abroad its very very unlikely that the funeral would be within a week of her death.

My own Mum died on the second day of my holiday abroad. I was all for coming home but was persuaded by siblings not to as the funeral wouldn't be for at least 2 weeks after my scheduled return. As it happens it was 3 weeks later.

BMW6 am so sorry to hear that
.

my fear is both that that would happen or happen now and the other relatives organize funreal when we are away - id never forgive myslef if i mussed the funreal by chosing to go on holiday - and due yo this am worried as we have to pay the sitter , the fares , as well as lose the money . I know money isn’t everything totally not - though its taken a long time to save - its the anxiety which means I just cant look forward to anything now .
I imagjne the advice on here about taking it day to day will sink in soon - and thankyou all for it .

When my mum died, her sister was about to go on holiday of a lifetime that she had saved very hard for, we told aunt to go and arranged the funeral for 3 weeks time so they would be back. Honestly funerals normally take weeks to organise anyway. Just go on your holiday , I'm sure your godmother would want you to. To be honest l wouldn't care if my kids missed my funeral for a holiday.

I wouldn't cancel anything, you're not getting your money back anyway. Just wait and see and try not to panic. You'd be terribly unlucky if the funeral did happen to be the date of your DHs surgery or while you're on holiday. The chances are that it won't be.

Then if the worst happens and she dies while you are away, and the funeral is set for a date when you are Still abroad (highly unlikely as you are only away for 1 week), you can decide whether to return early, or not.

If she dies before you go and the funeral is set during your holiday then you can choose not to go. The money is gone either way.

There really is nothing you can or should do at this stage. Wait and see.

BMW6 thank you
x

I think realistically you have to continue with your plans. None of that is stuff you can easily rearrange and I'm sure you would end up out of pocket. Meanwhile, you can't predict what will happen with the sick relative.