To want to avoid an ex

[Qquq]

Coming up to 3 years since he ended things in a horrible way and said some very hurtful things to me. Someone has asked me to do a regular activity that would involve interacting with him at times,which I absolutely do not want. Now, I'd never ignore him but beyond saying hello, I still don't want to have anything to do with him. I do the activity myself elsewhere and am enjoying it.

She hasn't said it in so many words but I get the impression she feels I'm being a bit silly to want to avoid him after all this time?

I've moved on, am happy with my life now, don't feel like taking a step backwards, when I can now see I've had a lucky escape from him and don't want ever to be his 'friend'

Am I being silly/unreasonable?

Yes, right decision, in my opinion. Passage of time doesn't mean an obligation to 'forgive and forget'.

No I wouldn’t join an activity that I knew an ex would be at. I think exes are best left in the past.

You’re not being silly or unreasonable. I think most people would prefer to avoid an ex even after many more years than that, especially if he was hurtful during the breakup.

You have to do what you feel is right for you and stuff what anyone else thinks. If seeing this man will make you feel uncomfortable, then it's totally right you should avoid this activity.

That helps, thanks - took me a good while to feel happy again, so three years still feels too fresh for me to be interacting with him.

Yes, I've become stronger in myself since this breakup - something good to come out of it! I just feel this would be a backward step so I'm doing what feels right for me.

Yes, don't jeopardise any of that good work. Look after yourself and ignore anyone else that thinks they know better!

What did he do so bad?

I am a 'door always open' person, but you have to do what you feel is right and if you're happy and at peace, then avoid.

Why would you stop doing an activity somewhere you’re happy to swap and potentially be unhappy? Why is your friend pushing this? Not very nice, imo, knowing you’d have to interact with an ex you don’t want to see him.

Normally, I'm a very forgiving person, but not in this situation. I had to have counselling after the breakup so I was pretty low in myself and I've got myself to a good place now, so don't want to make a wrong decision.

Well done... continue moving forward without having to unnecessarily interact with him