To give background, BIL left the Uk to work overseas about seven years ago, despite having (then) a son and daughter who were five and seven. Nobody challenged it as we didn’t want to upset the applecart. He came home a couple of times a year and kids went out to see him once a year. A year ago, having turned down a job in the UK, family went to live with him. Within a few months, he’d had an affair and declared the marriage over. Wife and kids moved back to uk (pretty crap for them as they had moved their whole lives) leaving fancy international school for local comp.
I feel like I’m going mad and that nobody else can see him for what he is - a full blown narcissist. BIL has a history of grandiose gestures when he knows people are watching but seems not to give two hoots about genuine emotion. He is hugely invested in his status and bigging himself, his job and his intelligence up, often at the expense of others. Despite having a very good job, he has run up huge debts, borrowing from people who can ill afford to lend to him. He also seems to have an alcohol issue. His parents are elderly and in ill health but he never expresses any regret at being hours away or mentions the burden it puts on his sibling.
He has no intention of moving back to the UK and seems to think that nobody should question as bizarre the fact that he plans to see his kids twice a year going forwards. Summer visit to him. One other visit back here. He continues as if nothing is amiss sending photos of him on various holidays with his new (much younger) girlfriend and posting endless photos of his children on social media.
I feel like his family are enabling him and that years of this odd behaviour has led them to think that what he is doing is within the bounds of normality.