To ask if anyone has any experience/advice - binging then making myself sick

[SugarIsMyNemesis]

So I do this when I'm under stress more often, but not all the time. But it's been happening again for a while and I'm struggling to get control of it.

Bingeing on sweet foods in excess - cupcakes/frosting or ice cream etc and then making myself throw up. Sometimes only to repeat it right after. Sometimes with takeaways and meals out too. But not with regular everyday healthy meals etc.

Is there anything I can do to try and get control of this by myself? I don't want to burden anyone with it or share it with someone really...

https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Disordered-Eating

Have a look at this
All the best.

Thanks so much ☀️

And thank you to everyone for the support I really appreciate this. I am a frequent user on a different name and sometimes think about quitting the site as it can be quite unpleasant at times - but then there are threads full of lovely people like this and you have no idea how much it actually helps to get support and reassurance even if from strangers on the internet.

I threw out the rest of a tub of buttercream and put fairy liquid on it in the bin - so at least the next temptation has now been removed!

Thanks everyone.

This is good OP! Throwing away your trigger food is a huge huge start.

You can and you will recover from it. Believe in yourself and just take one day at a time. If you have a little slip up, come and chat again. Or make a phone call to Beat or similar. Every attempt at progress IS progress. 🤗

I'm In the same situation, I'd really like to try and support you and visa versa. Xx

I have been in your shoes and was too ashamed to tell anyone however I did seek counselling and literally did not tell anyone for a long time including my then boyfriend! This was many years ago and I haven’t had any of those sorts of thoughts for a long long time & feel like that was a different person almost / I completely forget that it ever happened. Reading your posts reminded me of how out of control it all feels but honestly you can get past it with a little help. You’ve made a big step in posting. Best wishes to you x

OP my heart goes out to you. I was bulimic for years and it caused me so many issues (not least thousands of pounds worth of dental treatment).

I totally understand why you don't want to tell people. I never did nor did I seek outside help (though DH now knows I was bulimic when i was younger). I had self esteem issues and hated the idea of putting on weight though I have never been overweight. Unfortunately I was made to believe I was fat when I was young when in reality i was a perfectly healthy weight.

However what did help me recover was to learn my triggers and what was at the root of why I did it. For me it was low self esteem, being a perfectionist, dealing with an alcoholic father and not having my parents home much ever, being bullied at secondary school and ending up isolated, struggling with stress, anxiety and feeling out of control. It made me feel I had a little control (crazy I know because it's the most of our control thing i did).

I took it day by day, step by step and put a plan in place as to what I would do instead when I felt the need to binge and purge. I worked out what my triggers were and monitored for them. I would then make plans with friends instead at my key times, go to the gym, go shopping, go for a walk anything that relaxed me and put me in a better mindset. I found going to the gym helped me feel more in control so didn't need to binge. I dumped fair weather friends who only used me or put me down. I pushed back the little voice in my head that said your fat, your ugly etc (it still rears it's head) and replaced those thoughts with positive things about myself. This is a huge struggle for me so most are not physical things. I am a size 10, 9st 9 and 5ft 5 but see do many faults though actually I am not overweight. I learned to realise nobody is perfect and that's ok and most importantly to be kind to myself and like myself. I am just me and that's ok.

Your very brave asking for help. Well done hugs to you.

Also if you do take a break from your baking, you can say you’re fully booked until X date…..no one needs to know you’re taking an actual break x

The other suggestion I have is writing down your feelings and physical responses during the various stages of an episode. For Example:

• It first crosses your thoughts, what you will buy, what will you eat = enjoying the planning, thinking about the foods, what they will taste like, I deserve a treat
• Buying the food - hoping people don’t think it’s all for me, making excuses, excitement, high pulse rate
• Eating - euphoria, ultra focus, spine shivers
• Afterwards - feeling ashamed, a failure, lonely, queasy from sugar rush,
• Hours later - deep shame, promising myself will not do again

Do this everytime it helps give you some insight into what your own personal experience is and what maybe triggering you. Try to work first on those negative thoughts after the event and then on your thoughts and mood before the first idea to binge crosses your mind.

I am sorry you are struggling. Well done for sharing and writing this post . Some great advice here .

I have suffered mental illness since the age of 6. Much of this has stemmed ( although I recognise she was sadly v poorly ) was of me witnessing my older sister making herself sick.

It is horrible for the sufferer so please do get some support IRL.

I wish you well 💕

Sorry to read this. I lived with bulimia for 12 years, always during times of stress and unhappiness. During my one awful relationship I did it multiple times a day for two years and with any food. It wasn't to lose weight, it just made me feel slightly better and relieved temporarily. I hated binging and I hated purging but afterwards was so calm.

I haven't done it in about 5 years. I don't really know how I stopped, I got through severe PND and realised I hadn't vomited in a week, it gradually got longer and longer.

I don't know I won't ever again but I don't miss it and I know that it's a very complicated illness - there isn't just one thing to "fix". I hope you can find a way through this.

ADHD meds help for Binge Eating Disorder - they reduce the urge, which might be a drive for dopamine. This is treatable xxx

ADHD meds are strictly controlled and they aren't always prescribed even if someone has ADHD. I had to jump through several hoops to get onto Elvanse and I was diagnosed twice 🙈 Also, if someone only binge eats in reaction to a specific trigger (like stress), that's not dopamine-seeking behaviour so not a symptom of untreated ADHD.

However, I'm not opposed to medical intervention so I'll offer another potential avenue: low dose semaglutide. I am on Wegovy (for pre-existing weight issues - I started taking it two years after my last binge) and have seen many anecdotal accounts on forums that suggest it reduces all compulsive behaviour, not just overeating. I believe the medication is also being looked at as a potential treatment for addiction so it may be licenced with different guidelines in the future.

@SugarIsMyNemesis - if you're not overweight, you wouldn't be approved for Wegovy but it might be worth looking into something similar, if/when you feel ready to speak to your GP.

Also - gently - it sounds like you have previously "controlled" your bulimia by replacing one eating disorder with another: orthorexia. Long-term food issues are very difficult to overcome by yourself and eating disorders thrive in secret so make sure you're talking to someone, even if it's just us ❤