To not want to be friends with someone who does this

[EalingLucy]

Racks up £30k of debt in expensive holidays, a diamond ring for herself, clothes etc, then declares bankruptcy to get out of paying it back. Then just uses parents’ credit cards until she can get her own credit again

oh and also I think she faked an insurance claim and got more money than she should have for a burglary.

And this is to do with you because?

Why on earth are you posting on here?

A bit far-fetched.

Because I don’t think I want to be friends with someone who would commit fraud and I want to know others’ opinions.

If this person were genuinely my friend I’d be concerned for them: bankruptcy isn’t some easy way of getting out of owing money, the repercussions will follow them around for years. And I generally try not to speculate on things where I only “think” something happened and don’t know the facts. It’s fairly clear that you don’t really like your “friend”, so why continue the friendship? It’s not benefiting either of you.

She’s got it all worked out. She’ll live with her parents whilst riding out the restrictions and save a deposit for a house. She is taking it lightly. I am not.

She won't be able to have a regular functioning adult life for seven years! It's a pretty desperate solution.

Well it’s fine, because her parents have agreed that she can just use their accounts. As I say, she’s going to live with them to save money for a house deposit. She actually has a decent paying job. I’m just annoyed it’s tax payers picking up the bill and think she should at least try and pay it back - pawn the jewellery or something! Not just continue the lifestyle on her parents’ credit.

Whatever the real ins and outs of it are, it's an extremely high risk strategy but it's up to you who you are and aren't friends with.

I understand that you don’t agree with the way your friend lives her life - I wouldn’t be happy either if I were you. Do you want to carry on the friendship or do you want to stop the friendship? It’s up to you. I know it’s a horrible and difficult decision.

I can understand not wanting a grifter in your life, but I don't see where she's costing the taxpayer anything.

It’s tricky. I’m attached to her and like having her as a friend. But she does this, and also seems to feel no guilt about cheating (or attempting to) on her long term boyfriend. I have form for staying in friendships too long and not listening to warning signs, and it’s starting to feel like our morals are just really mismatched and I should maybe listen to my instincts that she shouldn’t be one of my closest friends (which she currently is). I also notice she can be a bit catty to me, which is not helping.

She will be lucky to get a mortgage after bankruptcy. A prime one anyway.

I don’t think I want to be friends with someone who would commit fraud

So don't be 🤷🏻‍♀️

I get where you’re coming from. It can be really difficult to walk away from a friendship, especially when it’s a long-standing one. It’s not on that she can be catty to you though. That would really wind me up if I was in your position.

It sounds like it’s a mix of things pulling you away from the friendship - some of her habits/behaviour that you don’t agree with and the way she sometimes treats you.

What sort of stuff do you value and like about your friendship with her?

I wouldn’t trust them so no I wouldn’t want to be friends with them.

So is the problem that you want to dump her or that you're sort of jealous you cant press the fuck it button and behave the the same way without what you see as being rightly punished for cheating the systems?

I also don't see how this affects tax payers.

Write a list of pros and cons for the friendship…which one comes out stronger?

Would you feel worse having her in your life when you disagree with her life choices or losing her as a friend?

The things that you’re describing aren’t really any of your business though. I wouldn’t care if my mate was doing these things but I might care if she spent our time together bragging about the cheating or rinsing her parents money…

So don’t be friends with them then. Gently, their private business and conduct is nothing to do with and you are not a friend yourself anyway by posting on this site .