Would you feel upset?

[Feelingdownnn]

Me and my partner (we are both 22) went out last night for drinks, we were sat outside in a beer garden in a booth. These other boys asked could they sit in our booth as the place was pretty busy , we said yes of course! They were also in their early twenties. My partner got chatting to the boys and everything was fine. I popped to the toilet and when I came back my boyfriend was absolutely livid, basically as soon as I left to go to the toilet one of the boys said to my boyfriend "your girlfriend is ugly as fuck" my boyfriend was really not happy and stuck up for me when I wasn't there. The boy that said it, his friends were disgusted and said he didn't mean it and it was bang out of order. I tried to act like i was okay but deep down it really hurt me. 20 minutes later I cried so hard I wanted to go home. As a girl with extremely low self esteem this is the last thing in the world I want to hear. He's a stranger. It was just weird. I didn't end up going home (I'm so glad) I got super drunk! But would you be upset? Or world you laugh it off? My boyfriend is trying to convince me boys say that when they fancy you 🤣I just feel horrible about myself to be honest

Why did your boyfriend tell you what this random stranger said? Particularly if he knows you have low self esteem.
I get that you feel hurt, but this person’s opinion really doesn’t matter.

Your boyfriend should have told the others to fuck right off, and they should not have been there when you returned from the toilet.

Absolute idiots. Don’t waste your time worrying about what people like that think of you!

Boys are just stupid. Probably trying to make himself look hard in front of his mates. What he thinks means nothing, don't give him any power.

Agreed. He also shouldn't have told you what he'd said!

I am more annoyed he told you!

Random strangers say random things, much of which is bollocks. So take no notice of what was said. But ideally your boyfriend shouldn't have repeated it. Not everything needs to be shared!

Your boyfriend's a dick for telling you.

There was absolutely no need was there?

No I wouldn't take any notice of a random rude guy.

Sounds like he was deliberately trying to wind your bf up and succeeded so I have sympathy for your bf and the fact that he told you.

Let it go, the more conversations you have about it the more it'll stick in your brain. Just delete and forget it even happened.

The fact is that your so-called BF is out of order and should have never told you as I know boys can be like that more so when I was younger and my OH also confirmed this when were were talking about our days in education.

One FM stated your BF should have done .... Rest assured its no good fighting. But to say something like that to someone your BF did not know - you sure he did not know them?

You are what you are and in the eyes of your beholder and that is what counts, not disgusting comments from a brainless moron

It wouldn't upset me now at 34, but it probably would have at 22. I'm fat so I've had plenty said to me by arsehole blokes! Don't take it to heart, he's absolutely nobody to you and his opinion doesn't matter.

Did this actually happen? Did you hear the insult? It’s so odd that your bf told you that I’d be concerned he’d made it up just to shatter my confidence.

Sorry, but your bf is an idiot for telling you that. He should have got up and intercepted you and whisked you away.

Are you sure he said that? I’d be more concerned your boyfriend is lying.

Yes this.
Why would your boyfriend say that to you?
I honestly don’t think random boys go around calling other men’s partners “ugly as fuck”. They just don’t. And if they do, boyfriends don’t hang around with them afterwards. I’d be very suspicious about your boyfriend’s motives in this story. You have only his word that any of this happened.

Were the other boys there when you got back to the booth?

I’m just wondering because I had an ex many many years ago, who was an absolute controlling cunt, and would have made this sort of thing up. To either ruin my self esteem because he was threatened by me taking to other boys, or to try and make himself look like the good guy by defended me.

He 100% said it. When I came back from the toilet my bf didn't tell me straight away. I knew when I came back something was off the atmosphere was awkward and my boyfriend looked angry , I heard one of the guys say to my boyfriend "that was bang out of order you don't say things like that" I asked was everything okay , my bf said yes , the 2 of them was still talking so I repeatedly asked what they were talking about (I was nosy and drunk 🤣) my bf then told me , and the guy who said it, friend said to me I'm not sure why he said it, he didn't mean it. To be honest his friend seemed so sad about it he felt awful. The guys then left the table as it was just so awkward. When I was crying to my bf later, he was so angry that the boy made me feel so sad so he went and found him and made him come down to me and apologise , I told him to shove his apology and I told my boyfriend please do not make anyone apologise when they don't mean it.

Oh love.

This is absolutely awful.

Really hope you're okay.

Thats really cruel of them but unsurprising for drunk idiot boys. Remember that they probably have very high opinions of themselves and what kind of girl they want to get with. Doesn't mean they can get them or that they would treat that girl well or be treated well by the girl. Have you seen love island? Every girl is stunning, but if they aren't the most stunning they never get picked, whereas the girls value personality and will pick any of the boys. It's just boys, they are idiots and just try not to be hurt by it. Your boyfriend obviously loves you and stood up for you and he finds you beautiful. Agree he shouldn't have told you but then guys don't always think and he was probably outraged and wanted to vent to you even though misguided.

You are not unreasonable for being upset but please rationalise and don't let it take up any more of your time. Looks aren't everything amd those boys don't know all of your traits.

Your BF should not have repeated the exact words the guy said. It's hurtful enough without you hearing it. He should have said this fella is bang out of order/ pissed, he's chatting shit, and moved away from them. I'm glad you stayed and (I hope enjoyed) getting drunk. If a drunk stranger said to you "your mate/bf/mum/child" is Ugly AF, your response would be to tell them to do one. Not repeat the exact insult to the person it was aimed at. If I was BF I would have spoken to staff indoors and said these lads have had plenty and one was giving misogynistic abuse unprovoked. He should have been kicked out. What an arse.

You are incredibly naive if you think
men don’t say these things behind peoples backs and to their faces.

I didn’t say men didn’t say things. I said they don’t call other people’s girlfriends ugly as fuck in front of their partners. However it seems they did. I’d still question why the boyfriend needed to say anything about it. Particularly to a someone who he knows has low self esteem.

The guy who said it is a vile creep, don’t give him any more thought! The kind of men who speak like that are usually the most obnoxious and the most likely to be single! He’s trying to put you down and your boyfriend but he’s probably jealous and single.

I had a similar thing happen to me when I was 21, I was out with friends in a club and I had a birthday sash on and a guy said to me “you can’t be Miss Manchester you’re far too ugly”. My sash had “Birthday Girl” on so it was clear why I was wearing it. I laughed it off but I cried my eyes out in bed that night.

So after this bloke said this, AND your boyfriend told you he said it, you both just stayed sitting with this group?. What a bizarre situation.
If this actually happened, he should never have told you & moved away from the group before you returned. What he did is more cruel than what was said.