… to not be able to cope with my toddler?

[Moneybum]

I am not coping well with “play with me mummy, play, play, play”.
it’s almost always imaginative play. I’m very happy to bake, paint, play dough, puzzle, but it’s not what she wants to do. I cannot CANNOT pretend to be at a farm, or whatever the thing is today anymore.
my DD toddler is 2 and I have a 5 month old DS. Doing all his night feeds as I am EBF. We cosleep so it is just whacking a boob out but I still feel tired & burned out right now, and the first thing to go is my patience for this type of play… I just can’t, but when I don’t, the whingeing is next level annoying. I then feel my temper rising and I do not want to be a shouty or distant parent.
its made worse by the fact that we have strong parental preference happening, so both DD and DD want/need mummy. I feel strongly I need to spend time with DS as he is a baby, and think I resent DD interrupting this by demanding my attention during all waking hours. Now there are 2 I get very little alone time.
we have some boundaries - no play before mummy has had coffee, for example! In the morning - but sometimes I think she rules the roost with her incessant play demands. It’s RELENTLESS. independent play seems to be a foreign concept around here.

YABU - toddler being a toddler - suck it up and put on your imaginary farm hat
YANBU - it’s shit when this is all then want to do and you are not a bad parent to not do it.

Either way - how do I cope?!! to find the patience or manage the whinges… Genuinely pretty down about this.

Agree with this.
She's only so little herself so she might be feeling extra needy. You have yourself said you are becoming resentful because she's taking time away from the baby but you do have 4 full days away from here where you are with baby, so maybe she's feeling she needs some 1:1 time?

My DD was very similar when her baby brother was born (she was 2 as well). I totally understand the natural feeling of wanting to be with baby all the time but my mum did remind me at two, my DD was still a baby herself and still needed the undivided attention she was used to, sometimes! So I would suggest prioritising handing baby over to someone else at times and giving her your time if possible.

Oops apologies, I've just seen your mum has her at yours so you aren't away from her 4 full days!

But still, it might just be she needs a bit of help adjusting!

I do get it though, of all the play the imaginary stuff feels the most draining

When you try to play in their imaginary game with them and they just tell you that you are doing it wrong.

This! We also entered a slap / kick / throw phase which I am managing but really adds to the slap in the face feeling when you actually get slapped!