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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it’s normal to take your kids to a house viewing?

281 replies

HouseMover2024 · 17/02/2024 21:19

Friend is trying to sell her house and has taken issue with people bringing their children. In her view, they should arrange childcare and it’s inappropriate for them to bring children. If they do bring their kids she thinks they should be left in the car with parents taking turns.

Friend doesn’t have children. She can’t relate to the fact that childcare outside of work time isn’t particularly easy to find.

Part of her reasoning is she has animals she says it’s not practical to remove and is worried a child might get bitten.

I have an opposing view and actually have taken my young children to viewings. I ensure they are respectful and take their shoes off/don’t touch anything. But it’s not always practical to arrange childcare especially at weekends. When my home has been on the market I remove my pets for viewings.

OP posts:
JMSA · 18/02/2024 01:25

caringcarer · 18/02/2024 00:47

I went to visit a house once and there was a huge snake in a big tank. I screamed and ran out. Vendors should make viewers aware of any animals in case of phobias, like in my case.

Confused
HeadShoulderHipsandCalves · 18/02/2024 01:26

She shouldn't be in possession of an animal that she thinks will bite.

TurnipMuncher · 18/02/2024 01:30

We did the majority of our house hunting during COVID restrictions, so officially one person at a time, no children, etc.

As we didn't have childcare for DC, and neither were at school, that meant exactly what your friend proposed - one parent staying outside with them and then swapping.

The house we ended up buying was probate and the EA just let us look around without them, so we could all view together. DC didn't have much opinion, but it was a lot easier to view together with the DC, than separately without. Maybe that was also being able to discuss a little more freely without vendor or EA lurking, though!

tolerable · 18/02/2024 01:33

shes sell property-NOT running the world.
ideally-i would think (know i 'd rather)potential buyers would prefer the 1st view child free. Isnt always optional tho. tbh- the animals would put me off more than kids on tour

Joystir59 · 18/02/2024 01:34

TheSnowyOwl · 17/02/2024 21:21

Also sometimes people want their child’s input on a potential new home.

Why? Do children contribute towards the deposit or help pay the mortgage?

transformandriseup · 18/02/2024 02:47

My parents moved house a few times and I went to all the viewings. I think kids should have an opinion on a potential house as they will be living there too, it doesn't have to be the final say.

Wanna17 · 18/02/2024 03:06

Your friend is an idiot

CraftyTaupeOtter · 18/02/2024 03:17

I take my children because I want to hear their views and I think children can be sensitive to vibes too. You never know, they might observe something that I don't that helps inform me against a place.

Ghuunvg · 18/02/2024 04:47

No and I have skipped over a couple who wanted to bring their kids

marshmallowburn · 18/02/2024 04:59

I've always done open houses with me and the pets well clear before anyone rocks up. They don't want to buy your pet! Children welcome of course.

marshmallowburn · 18/02/2024 05:01

Joystir59 · 18/02/2024 01:34

Why? Do children contribute towards the deposit or help pay the mortgage?

What an odd outlook? It's because it's their future home.

BobnLen · 18/02/2024 05:13

She should be shutting her dangerous dog away if the general public are walking round her house.

Rivendeluge · 18/02/2024 05:16

I took my DC as I had no childcare.

On the flip side I'd be massively put off by a dog being present. If someone thinks so much of their dog that it has to be present for viewings I'd also assume they neglect the property in favour of the dog. And I'd worry the smell would linger.

IfYourHorseSaysNo · 18/02/2024 05:19

We always took the kids with us to viewings and others have brought their kids to view our houses too, so I’d say it’s totally normal.

We have dogs and they are taken for a walk or are left with friends. The cats make a swift exit when they hear strangers.

I’m not worried they’ll bite but I’m aware some people don’t like animals and it can be stressful for my dogs having strangers in their house. It’s one less thing to think about if they’re out. When we were selling a house when our kids were little, they were with our friends where possible do they didn’t make a mess.

marcopront · 18/02/2024 05:45

@Joystir59

Why? Do children contribute towards the deposit or help pay the mortgage?

If you go clothes shopping, do you ever ask someone's opinion?
They presumably aren't contributing or even having to wear the clothes.

Inyourwildestdreams · 18/02/2024 06:22

KittytheHare · 17/02/2024 22:01

Why would you want to do your own viewings? Genuinely, when you’re selling you’re advised to depersonalise your house and make it appear a neutral space. I would absolutely loathe a viewing where the vendor was showing the house - I think I would feel compelled to make polite comments and avoid asking the more probing questions.

@KittytheHare why can you not ask probing questions to the vendor? They live there! They have all the proper info about the house, unlike the agent who knows the basics!

I held all of our viewings when selling our home - with my toddler present 😅 and went to all viewings of potential new homes with him too 🤷🏻‍♀️
I preferred holding all my own viewings as I wanted to meet potential buyers (I didn’t want it being sold as holiday let/air b&b or anything), and I didn’t want to have to make myself scarce with DS multiple times a day/at inconvenient times for an agent to do the viewings. Really normal here in Scotland to do your own viewings. I’d say 80% of those we went to view were vendor led viewings too!
It wouldn’t even cross my mind not to take my child to a viewing if I’m honest 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s going to be our family home so we’re going to view it as a family. If for any reason we were there and they wouldn’t behave then one of us would leave with them immediately.

I did have one issue when I was hosting our viewings where a couple brought their 3 children to view our house (roughly 6, 4 and 2 I’d say) and just sent them off to explore on their own 🙄 they were off upstairs pulling things out of cupboards, climbing on furniture etc while the parents were viewing the garden so I did ask them to please keep their children with them. Apart from that all other families that came to view were perfectly respectful of our property.
I did have a couple come to view who were a bit taken aback when I advised them that actually, it wasn’t ok for them to bring their 2 (large and wet from the beach!) dogs in to the viewing 🙃

Having our child with us when we viewed a house we loved actually got us the house 😂 we bought from a couple in their 80s who were downsizing and reluctantly selling the house they’d raised their own family in. They were so taken with DS (about 18months at the time) that we ended up at the viewing for nearly 2 hours sitting with them having a cup of tea while they played with DS 😅 we put in an offer through the agent as soon as we left the viewing and the couple accepted the offer immediately and sent a message through the agent saying that they had been so upset at the prospect of selling a house that held so many special memories for them but that seeing our little family ready to make all our own memories in the house made the decision to sell feel happy for them 🥺🥲 They even requested to personally meet us at the house and hand over the keys on our move in day so that they could see us 😅

Tatonka · 18/02/2024 06:23

I would only think it's acceptable to take children if they are well behaved and won't touch anything

BarbieDangerous · 18/02/2024 06:27

Dog with bite history? Bloody hell she needs to not have her pet in the house when anyone comes for a viewing

Ouchmyarse · 18/02/2024 06:31

I have to take mine. We don’t have any childcare at all, no family/friends who could have them.

HouseMover2024 · 18/02/2024 06:34

FloopyMango · 18/02/2024 01:24

Who leaves animals in their house for a viewing? That’s weird! (I say this as someone who has sold a lot of houses!)

It’s not something I have ever done. I have been to one or two viewings where they have. I am comfortable with dogs so didn’t mind. But many aren’t.

OP posts:
Brandnewskytohangyourstarsupon · 18/02/2024 06:35

The family viewing mine that let their kids jump on my furniture, left a liberal sprinkling of crisps throughout my house which they made NO attempt to tidy or clean up, Also had an iPad blaring some crap as they looked around would suggest to me zero control and/or zero fucks given.
So I would say unless you have social skills and awareness of what shitty behaviour is, then no, don’t bring kids to people’s homes.

HouseMover2024 · 18/02/2024 06:39

Brandnewskytohangyourstarsupon · 18/02/2024 06:35

The family viewing mine that let their kids jump on my furniture, left a liberal sprinkling of crisps throughout my house which they made NO attempt to tidy or clean up, Also had an iPad blaring some crap as they looked around would suggest to me zero control and/or zero fucks given.
So I would say unless you have social skills and awareness of what shitty behaviour is, then no, don’t bring kids to people’s homes.

Thing is I understand what you’re saying, but ultimately you’re trying to sell an enormous product. I wouldn’t like any of that but if they were offering asking on my house I’d grin and bear it. Some of it comes down to how motivated you are to sell.

OP posts:
MaryShelley1818 · 18/02/2024 06:42

We moved into our current home when I was pregnant with our first so we've never had this predicament but if we moved again it wouldn't even occur to me not to take our children. Tbf they're extremely well behaved in public so I'd be confident about that aspect.

I've always done my own viewings and never been to see a house where it wasn't the owner doing the viewing (probably 40+) so very much the norm here.

Lampslights · 18/02/2024 07:11

My child was always well behaved. She held our hand when little all the way round, and honestly, never expressed a view that was different to ours when small, clearly.

when older, as said, we have bought and sold several times, she would give an opinion, but never anything demanding, she never felt it was her decision, more she was a welcome part of the process.

the last time we bought, she was 17, and her and my husband did wish one house and me another, but we aligned as a family on the one I wished. Previously we have aligned on one he wished.

even though she’s a young adult now and not living at home, I’d still have her come on viewings, and part of the decision. I value her opinion and ultimately it is still her family home.

when she viewed for her rented flat. She sent me links, videos etc and let me be part of the decision too, even though ultimately it was her decision.

i think if your kids don’t behave, like jump on sofas, touch shit, dirty walls, then you should have the sense not to take them, or if they are going to be demanding and think it’s their decision, then again, have some sense and leave them home. But if you’ve well behaved kids, who enjoy being part of such a major decision, then take them if you wish.

only the parents know what’s right for their family

Blahblahblah2 · 18/02/2024 07:15

We took our 2-year-old to loads of house viewings. It was totally fine. There was no other option. Not everyone has family/friends who can step in to do childcare, and we can't afford babysitters.