To offload about my mother before I explode

[Gollygumdropz]

explode in sheer frustration at her.

im not even after advice, but a vent. I’ve posted about her before and her money management under another username (can’t remember which)

but this week we’ve had COUNTLESS, ‘i don’t know why you’re struggling, you’re dad and I (insert anything) went on 4 holidays abroad a year, kept 2 cars on the road, went to florida twice a year when your were a kid. At no point have I exclaimed I am struggling, rather that no, I can’t afford a Disney cruise and a holiday abroad, and a Disneyland Paris and a UK break all in one year, no I can’t get a brand new pcp merc, I can’t afford it, I can’t afford the Caribbean for my summer hols, Turkey will do just fine.

then an utter melt down about having no money when net she has 3k coming in a month (pensions, widow pensions and her own salary). No mortgage, single occupancy council tax

now my personal fave (sarcy) this week is ‘you’re cheating me out of 40k. She owns a second property that’s derelict that the council are onto her about, she asked me to find some investors/ developers locally to take it off her hands quickly (I did through the council). She doesn’t want to do it up just it gone. They want to view the property, she won’t let them, says it’s sold as seen in photos (literally not how the world works) and that she wants 100k because my brother told her to not settle for less. But 100k is what the houses go for in very good condition, this is run down x10.

ahhhh

and breathe

Tell her clearly that your brother will need to deal with the derelict property. Fully. Not just yap that she needs £100k. He needs to do the whole thing and get her the £100k, or expose himself as a bullshitter who is all mouth and no trousers. Tell her you will entertain no further discussion.

Re your own living situation, I would say the following:

-a merc on pcp is wasteful
(unless you are rolling in money and/or cars are a particular hobby/love and the merc contributes to happiness. Not the case for most, but some people feel this way)

-a european holiday in the sun is perfect, no Caribbean necessary and kinder to the environment re the flight time
(not that I've been there, but I don't feel my life is lacking!)

-I don't need to go to florida as you took me so many times

-Times have completely changed and costs have skyrocketed. Ask her why she thinks you should be flush with money when her £3k a month doesn't seem to be going very far?

Just want to send love and solidarity to you all. I've changed my ringtone for when DM calls to the imperial march. It really helps to take the edge off.

That's the tune to which Darth Vader makes his entrance, right?!

😁😁😁

Precisely!

Have you tried telling her it's not about finances and you just don't want to go ( with her)