To contact my ex regarding missed child maintenance payment?

[Moon121]

My dc father did not pay child maintenance, I have informed child maintenance service but they are taking too long to sort it out and as far as I know they haven’t even contacted him yet. I have been no contact with my ex for many years as he doesn’t care about dc and can be abusive. AIBU to contact him and ask him what’s going on? What would you say to him?

I wouldn't. You're best off pretending he doesn't exist and any money he gives you is extra. Don't rely on him. He could be dead or something.

how long has he paid without any break whatsoever?

how often does he see his child/ren?

I wouldn’t given that you have no regular contact and he’s abusive. I know it’s frustrating but let CMS chase him. If he’s a shit father then he’s unlikely to pay any quicker with you contacting him. I’m sorry that you’re having to put up with this shitty behaviour

If he's been abusive in the past what makes you think he won't do it again if you reach out and give him your contact details!

Opening a can of worms!!

If you can do without the money, I would go through the correct routes and wait.......

It’s not like he’s not going to know that he hasn’t paid it and from your brief post I can’t see why you think contacting him will get him to pay any sooner.

So is it only one missed payment? Seems like you are looking for an excuse to contact him? My ex didn’t pay in 3 years I never once messaged to ask him why

I wouldn't - I also have an abusive ex.

Couple of reasons....

Gives him an "in" to your life and potentially rocks the boat re "I want to see DC".

Gives him control, if he misses a payment, you'll have to chase him.

He can't make the CMS go any faster, in fact if he's like my ex, he'll ignore all letter and calls and force them to trace him via HMS Tax

The CMS will back date any claim to the day you claimed, so he'll have a whacking great arrears payment to make (loved spending that on the DC when it came in - my DC got well and truly treated after having to scrape by for so long!). If he doesn't pay the arrears in one hit, they can take up to 40pc of his income (after tax/NI but before any pension contributions) to cover current payments plus arrears.

I'd give CMS a ring, ask for the named case manager and for an update on progression. They take AGES to get payments into place and will try and fob you off with a direct payment (directly from him to you). You DO NOT have to accept this if there is documented DV.

Bare in mind, if they do a deductions of earnings, he will have to pay an extra 20pc, and you'll have 4pc deducted - but payments will come in as long as he's working.