managers, aibu?

[Logically4]

I manage a woman (let’s call her Kim) who seems to be gossiping about me. I only have evidence of 3 things but I’ve heard of other incidents. Aibu to raise, or would you ignore?

Kim shared her screen with me and a Teams message about me was open. She was previously off sick due to her relationship ending, and in her message was criticising me for not asking how her ex was doing and that apparently I didn’t care about him at all.

I asked Kim to refer someone to occupational health services. I sat with another colleague I manage recently and emails from Kim were onscreen. The chain was Kim being critical of me for wanting her to follow HR processes properly, telling the colleague about someone’s confidential HR issues, and essentially saying I have no right to ask her to refer them to OH. The email chain ended with Kim saying “I’ll send this to her and hope it works”. Then she sent me an email refusing to refer and being quite rude. It’s a normal management request…

Also I asked Kim to do something time critical on Monday, which requires my authorisation at the end. She did her bit at Friday 4:50pm, Work closes at 5pm, I can’t action it until next week. She then started texting me out of work hours saying I’m letting everyone down by not authorising it. She’s relayed this to others too. IMO she hasn’t given me enough time. it’s ridiculous

The Teams message about the ex is bizarre and best ignored.

Kim has clearly breached confidentiality in relation to the OH referral so this should be addressed as a performance or disciplinary issue.

Texting you out of work hours to authorise something - I would ignore such messages or if it's a work phone, switch it off. Completing tasks at the last minute is potentially a performance/development issue and should be handled as such.

How long has she been employed there? Sounds like she needs to be performance managed asap

6 months and spent 3 of that off sick, she’s constantly stressed and it’s hard to performance manage due to her having lots of mental health conditions

How long has she worked there. If it’s less than two years I would get rid. Otherwise you will have to manage her out with disciplinary/capability procedures.

Sorry I didn’t want my OP to be too long, but alongside the texting out of work hours, she sent me an email and around 5 teams messages. The teams messages too were very critical of me, saying it will be my fault we miss this time sensitive deadline etc

Civil service so hard to get rid of people. She’s spent 6 months in my team (3 months sickness), but worked in the civil service beforehand so has already passed probation in previous role

YABVVU to discuss an issue with an employee that is so identifiable on a public forum. This could get you sacked in my workplace.
If Kim sees this thread she would be right to make an official complaint.

I have changed details as to not be outing, and I’m only posting cause it’s weighing on my mind and I need some help.

I’d be talking to HR and Occ Health about reasonable adjustments, and making a performance plan with these in mind.

Less than 2 years service you can let people go, you just need to be mindful that if her MH conditions qualify as a disability under the EA2010 she’s entitled to reasonable adjustments being made.

Let's me honest here, you aren't managing her at all.

She's ignoring you, criticising you and undermining you and you aren't addressing it.

She had ignored a direct request which msu have healthy & safe, staff wellbeing implications.

She sends you her part of a task too late. Why don't you have the necessary deadlines in place. I need it by 10am Friday, documented in writing.

You need to take back control because she's running rings around you right now. People like her will as long as they are let away with it.

Doesn't she need to pass probation in her current role? How is regular supervision going? Are you documenting everything?

The privacy breach needs to be addressed in writing and with oversight. HR?

That privacy breach should have been reported IMMEDIATELY. How long ago was this?

Yes, thank you. I will hold a meeting with her to raise other concerns, but I suppose I’m posting as a sense check to see if bringing up these comments about me are reasonable. This woman clearly doesn’t like me, and will get upset and critical and probably tell others, so I need to be careful with my approach. I know it may seem really obvious to outsiders, which is why I appreciate the perspective, but I guess I’m toeing the line

She needs performance managing and an OH referral. Saying that, I recently left the civil service as I found it incredibly time consuming and stressful to performance manage this kind of behaviour .

HR were useless and ‘reasonable’ adjustments as set out by OH ( with absolutely no medical evidence just the persons say so) were the opposite of reasonable - ie they were unreasonable.

They included letting people go off to have ‘quiet time’, coming in late, not coming in the office at all as they got anxious on public transport, not doing 80% of jobs required of them due to them getting stressed by these jobs ( by having to do some actual work).

I also managed one man who was over 70 and was clearly becoming demented and very cantankerous. The Civil Service has removed the retirement age so there are more and more people suffering from dementia in the work force who then have to be ‘performance managed’ .
It was becoming a ridiculous and I am so glad I left.
I think the only thing you can do is ensure that all requests to this person are put in email and any actions are given a deadline for completion - again in writing.
i would also email her in office hours telling her not to contact you out of office hours ( the right to a private life is set it in the human rights act).
in short you need to keep evidence of all your interactions and all the things she is doing wrong. Good luck

I think you need to leave the personality and fact she doesn't like you out if it.

If she had a fabulous personality and adored you, her behaviour is still wrong.

She can't be ignoring your requests, shared private information or sending things in late to sabotage you.

Address the behaviour only. You have kore than enough for a disciplinary and/or performance improvement plan. Why haven't you spoken to HR yet?

This woman clearly doesn’t like me, and will get upset and critical and probably tell others

Yes, being liked is not essential. And the more reasonable and professional you are, the more other people will know it's her not you. Just because she's behaving as if this is a personality thing, you don't have to.