Fat Shamed by my Mum

[UnlimitedCake]

Just been fat shamed for the second time in a couple of weeks by my Mum. DM has recently lost a fair bit of weight as she’s been very ill and is now on a restricted diet. She was showing me her new jeans and she said loudly how I would soon be able to fit into all her old size 14s soon. I said back that I’m not a size 14 thank you but she ignored me and she said she will donate all her old big clothes to me as I’m almost there 😠

Last time she said something similar mentioned that some of my old dresses (10 years and older) no longer fit around my back as your ribs expand after having kids. She said yes, you have put on a lot of weight, you are much bigger than I was at your age.

For info I am 5 foot 4 and a size 10 on top and 12 on the bottom. I have put on weight, would ideally like to lose a stone but I am a healthy BMI and my frame is petite. Before kids I was probably too skinny and a size 6-8.

She's massively projecting her own feelings about body shape on to you which is really unfair. Are you happy enough with how you look/feel? If you've complained to her, maybe she unhelpfully trying to be motivational or something? More likely she's just obsessing about herself.
Maybe let her know 'you know mum, you've actually hurt my feelings making comments about my size. Can you keep those thoughts to yourself? I'm perfectly happy with how I am, I'm sorry you're still hung up on how you look.'

Good grief so irritating.

Think of a few bite backs like 'gosh isn't it good you have lost weight. You were pretty dumpy weren't you. I can't imagine what it would be like as a size 14. I guess you just got used to being fat didn't you. Unfortunately you were fat for sooooo long your face now looks quite craggy with stretched out skin. Oh well. Lucky for me I've never been as fat as you were'

Or maybe hold that in your head 😂

I'd just tell her that you find it peculiar that she keeps discussing your weight as a) you are not a size 14 as she was and b) it's very rude and it makes you worry she has something going on to make her so unhappy

Happy people don't go around being cruel.

Just be direct and say “mum honestly I don’t want all your old clothes, not just because they’d be way too big but also because we don’t have the same style. Would you want to wear your mother’s clothes?” Then laugh

Just ignore her. If she tries to give you clothes just say no thank you on repeat and leave them there/take her back to her house. She's acting like an ex smoker who then shames smokers once they've quit. Just ignore her.

Tell her curves are in fashion and she’s way behind. Sis is thiccck