Vegas wedding

[Issueatwork]

One of my best friends got engaged around 2 years ago and has spoke of wanting elope to vegas ever since. This hasn’t happened due to covid, life, money etc. But if anyone asks she says she’s trying to plan it, just trying to save up. She’s really excited and spends a lot of time looking into it and it’s well known amongst everyone that it’s what she wants to do.

DP and I are probably going to get engaged this year and we both want to do it too. We haven’t told anyone because we just want to go over, do it, then announce once home. I’m worried if we do it before her she will be hurt and angry and think we got in there and “copied” her wedding before she got the chance. She can be difficult sometimes too.

Even certain details she mentions is things I want to do too, eg get married by Elvis, go to In N Out after the ceremony and gets pics holding burgers.

I feel that going to Vegas is such a cliche and hardly a unique choice, also the details are also quite generic vegas wedding stuff so she has no right to complain. However, from her side I think her and others would just see me as a copycat and wedding stealer 🤣

Would you sod it and do it if you were me, or perhaps think of something else?

I could tell her and only her before, but again I just wanted to go and do it with minimal fuss and what if she takes it bad/ makes things worse as I’d be rubbing it in?

Just do what you want to do. All weddings have elements of ‘copying’ others. Choose what makes you happy and do it.

Neither of them seem particularly interested in 'classy' which is why they're friends!
OP, just do what you want. Neither of you want something particularly unique.
Also... she's been talking about it for so long, we've been out of Covid for a year, so why hasn't she done something already?
You might go to great lengths to sacrifice your dream only to find that she changes her mind.
Do her the courtesy of telling her first but she really shouldn't be stopping you.

If you have your heart set on Vegas maybe have a different venue. For example Caesars Palace and different photo opportunities. Make it more your own.

Here are my observations about weddings in no particular order

• You are going to piss someone off no matter what you do, so you might as well do what you want and at least you’ll know who will be mad at you.
• Weddings tend to be friendship killers. Even if nothing dramatic happens, everyone is pleasant, and it goes off without any problems. A lot people you are friends with at the time you are married are transient friends and will probably fade anyway due to life
• Hopefully (!) you only get married once, it should really give you happy memories and be what you want
• Even if it isn’t your perfect day it becomes a funny or commiserating story for years to come

The advice the judge gave to me before my ceremony “There isn’t a wrong way to get married, only a wrong way to be married”. That put all the wedding nonsense in perspective for me 🙂

I'd speak to her. I dont think you should go and do exactly what she is regularly talking about if you've not even mentioned that it's also what you want to do, it feels snakey. Just either tell her and ask her to keep quiet, or wait til she's had hers.

Why don't you go to Lake Tahoe instead? Much much nicer place, absolutely gorgeous, and you'd still benefit from Nevada legislation. (And if you time it right, you could even squeeze in some skiing.... in Tshirts!)

I’ve never met anyone who’s done it cheaper. Even the registry office ones have had a ‘do’ after which has cost a fortune.
We actually tagged the vegas part on to a wider road trip around America. So I don’t really count the travel costs as wedding expenses. We didn’t go just to get married. It was more of a spur of the moment decision while we were there

Why do you need to “announce”

go to vegas, get married, have a fab time.

when it comes up in her presence, keep it vague. Spur of the moment, yes it was fab etc.