To think 2 is too young for preschool?

[Coffeeandcakeplz]

DD started preschool recently just after turning two. She was settling in well at first but after going to a parents session with her there I noticed that some older kids push her and take toys off her and not let her join in.

I know this is perfectly normal at that age but after seeing it, I think she might be too young for the setting but....am conscious I might be being overprotective. She's very small and a very young 2 in terms of communication etc. I'm on mat leave with our baby so she could stay home for a while yet.

DH thinks it's good for her to be around other kids older than her and we've both noticed her language has come along since she started. We also have no family nearby and no other kids for her to interact with so the social element is important. Teachers say she is enjoying activities and only upset when tired.

She's currently in two mornings a week but was due to be up-ed to all 5 mornings next term.

Wondering what everyone thinks - is 2 too young for preschool?

If they take 2yos, I expect them to be set up for 2yos... the correct ratio, resources etc.

The teachers should be making sure that children are not being pushed or having toys taken off them. Are there other children her age to play with? Are they split into an older and younger group for structured activities at some point? I've seen one room preschools work well.

It's a good environment, lots of focus on learning and exploring but DD is the youngest by quite a few months. The other 2yos also go to all-day nursery so are used to childcare settings - DD isn't.

There are also high numbers of older kids who have turned or are turning 4 (I think) but can't move up to the next school until next term. There's no age split in terms of activities.

I wouldn’t up her mornings at this point no.

Do you mean nursery? I thought a pre school was for 3&4 year olds? Why did you choose to send her there rather than a nursery?

Personally I'd wait until around 3 for that type of setting.

It doesn’t sound like the best environment, she’s the youngest by several months, ratios probably aren’t perfect for her age if most kids are older, she only does 2 mornings in childcare… it sounds like a bad fit from what you’ve said. I’d have gone for nursery at that age. If she was almost 3 it may be different.

It’s weird they’re all in together. DS started at preschool as soon as he turned 2, it was 2 classes done on the standard English school year so either turning 3 this academic year in the lower class, or turning 4 in the upper class. Then they closed as they lost the lease on the premises so he moved to the nursery at his sister’s school. Again it’s 2 separate classes. I wouldn’t be sending him anywhere where he’s routinely in with 4.5YOs as I’d be expecting them to be really focused on school prep and since qualified teachers can have 3-4YOs at ratio of 1:13 the classrooms can feel really busy. None of that is ideal for a 2YO.

There's no age split in terms of activities.

Ours was split into children in the year before school, and younger children, for some structured activities. Do they not do phonics or school readiness type activities with the older ones?

It doesn’t sound like the best set up for her at the moment . I wouldn’t be happy leaving a 2yo knowing that is happening.
I think waiting til 3 for preschool tends to work better, particularly in the set up you describe.
You could consider taking her to groups with other toddlers, with parents to aid her socializing if you feel that’s important
But children don’t often play together until 3+, often with toddlers it’s mainly alongside each other.
Alternatively you might find a different setting with dedicated toddler provision and space.

I wonder if it's that they took her as a space opened up but the other younger children were all two by September, so the year above her in school? Will she have to wait until the older children leave for school now before younger ones join? If so, that doesn't sound ideal.

I think it's too young. I would only use nursery/preschool if I had to at that age for work, and I think it's too young for a 'preschool' environment.
I noticed a huge change in my children as they approached 3 and could really see the benefit of them going to preschool but I wouldn't want them to go every day (unless I had to for work) personally I would choose 3 mornings from age 3 if I was a SAHM or on mat leave.

No I think it'll do her good. Socialised earlier, she probably won't be one of the kids who cries on their first day of real school

In our preschool we have 2+ all together. However, she shouldn't be being pushed around. Yes, kids do snatch but it's part of learning so the preschool staff should be intervening. It's possible they didn't when you were there as they didn't want to step on your/ other parents' toes if it was a parent/ child event.

I personally think most 2yos can handle it, and it actually gets a bit harder the older they get: harder for them to settle in (can take ages at 3+ if they've never left parent), harder to learn rules/ sharing/ playing nicely/ standing up for themselves (yes, I do teach that too)/ listening to adults etc. All that can start at 2 and is easier in many ways. We have about 40% 2-3yos, 30% 3-4 and 30% 4+. It's lovely to see the 2yos 'grow up' when the older ones leave, such a confidence boost! They suddenly get this sense that they're the bigger ones! I would maybe keep her at 3 days if you can and have 2 days going out and about with you.

Ps. We take 2 year olds throughout the year depending on space, as soon as they are 2.

Of course it’s fine, stop fussing, let her have some independence

My ds2 started preschool at 2.5, he was one of the youngest and definitely the smallest! It was considerably cheaper than the nursery ds1 went to, and much more convenient too because it is attached to the school ds1 went to. I'd signed him up for 3 full days (9-3) but it did take awhile for him to build up to that, they had to cut it down to just mornings for about half a term. He was ok after that and when he was 3.5 I upped his hours to 4 full days.

Someone has to be the youngest, and even in nurseries when they move rooms they are the youngest for a little while. Similarly when they start reception, you think that they are too small for school next to the big kids!

Ds2 actually became more confident than ds1 ever was, but that might just be down to personality.

This. That shouldn't be happening at all, they're meant to be learning not to do that. I'd go somewhere where the ages are split for the majority of the time and they do age appropriate activities rather than 'free play'

My eldest went to a montessori nursery at 2.5 yrs for 3 mornings a week and loved it. I would expect staff to be supervising and stopping older children pushing or grabbing toys away from younger children though. Does your DD seem happy to go?

At my children's nursery they have three different rooms. They have a room for up to 2 a room for 2 year olds and then a pre school which they go into the term after their third birthday

I'd be having a chat with staff, she is supposed to be in their care so should not be pushed around. If nobody is near her age then I would worry if she is struggle to make friends too. Even one friend and decent staff would be fine.

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer to this. Personally I feel that she's a tiny bit young for it - but that's just because my DC started between 2.5 and 3, and that seemed to work well for them. We're all biased by our own experiences. I certainly wouldn't increase to 5 mornings a week if you don't need to.

2 mornings per week is fine for a 2 Yr old. Pre school usually age 4, ante pre school maybe 3. You could give it a go and try to let go a bit then rethink.

Do you mean nursery? It sounds odd. My ds is 2.5 and is in nursery in a class with 2 and 3 year olds. They all then move up to pre school in September together and so will just be like his school year in age range.

Thank you so much everyone (and really helpful to hear from someone who works there too @PrincessOfPreschool).

Think we're going to keep her there but hold off on upping the days and see how it goes.

It is pre-school not nursery around here (for those that asked) from ages 2-4. Daycare-style nursery is not an option for us as in my town they have long waiting lists and offer full days only, not mornings.