To think my friend should come to me?

[weddingwaiting]

I am getting married in March.

A friend of mine (of around 13 years) is now unable to make it for disappointing but valid reasons.

My friend lives in London and I live in rural East of England so although I can get to London it is expensive and takes about 2 hours on public transport (which is in short supply so I have to drive about 20 mins to a train station).

So far the slots my friend has offered to meet me are after work or in between other things he has going on so practically speaking it wouldn’t work for him to come here which would mean I would have to travel to London, which I hate, to receive my apology/treat dinner.

Historically I have always travelled to him or we have met in the middle but AIBU to think if he really wanted to make it up to me he would make the effort to come to me this time and offer me a whole day/evening?!

You say his reasons are valid but you feel he needs to grovel about them?

I’d just say to him that he never comes to see you at your house, so when is he next free to do so.

This

@weddingwaiting
My apologies for posting on your long-ago thread…
I hope your wedding was lovely and everything you wished for. Congratulations.
I feel like your dilemma with your friend the same way I feel about brides who ask their bridesmaids to purchase expensive, extravagant bridesmaids’ dresses — they ask them a favour and then punish them for it.
Your friend wanted to do you a favour, but you had to do all the work.
I don’t think people realize their selfishness sometimes.
It’s a mystery, it is.

It sounds like this friendship has run it's course OP. I don't blame you for not wanting to make a long journey here.

Why does he need to take you out if he can’t make your wedding? It’s just one of those things… meet up when you both can next? Seems a bit dramatic

I think if you usually go there it's reasonable to say "Sounds like you have a lot on that day already. How about you let me know a time when you're free to come up to here or we could meet in TOWN that should be easy for us both to get to"

Or

"You don't need to make anything up to me. I'm sorry you can't make the wedding but I understand. Let me know when you have a day / weekend free to travel up to HERE for a change"

He might not want to treat you to dinner AND travel so leave the treat but and he might actually come to you