Is this a reasonable excuse to not sign the divorce papers?

[userzH]

Exh pushing me to file for divorce so I did.

He is abusive and moved straight onto his next victim.

He asked me to file for divorce so I did.

I can prove his abusive so I was entitled to legal aid and could use a solicitor.

I filed for divorce and asked him for a 'clean break order' within the divorce as we have have nothing financially to sort (thank god) but I just want to be free of him financially as well due to him being a gambling addict.

I'm not sure how it works on his side and what he's supposed to do next but he received a letter from my solicitor asking him his thoughts on a clean break order and the divorce as a whole. My solicitor sent me this letter and I approved it before sending. He had 2 weeks to respond. He ignored it.

Then he received the divorce papers. I'm not sure what he needed to do - I'm guessing go online and sign whatever (he's not using a solicitor) and he ignored that too. He had a deadline to submit whatever he needed too and that date has now passed

We have not spoken properly for 2 months however we spoke about this the other day.

His reason for not doing his part of the divorce was because he did not understand what I was asking of him in the letter from the solicitor - even though it was written out cleanly and states we have nothing financial to sort and a clean break order just cuts us financially.

He has now asked me to ask my solicitor what he should do next as the deadline has now passed.

This is absolute bollocks isn't it? The letter was clear.

Also, does anyone know what happens next seen as he has missed his deadline?

Absolutely NOTHING is straight forward with him.

I went to cms to file for child maintenance as he stopped paying. We spoke about this too. He said it's CMS fault he hasn't paid as he has had no communication from them. As far as I'm aware, cms have written to him.

Just venting really. I'm in no massive rush to get divorced. And by that I mean I'm not stressing over it. It will happen when it happens and I knew he wouldn't do anything right so I'm not surprised by this.

But why nag me for a divorce if you're not going to comply? Especially when he's flaunting how happy he is in his new relationship 🙄

I'm no expert on this (thankfully) but your ex sounds like a prick and you're well rid...I imagine it's about control and trying to get you to dance to his tune. And possibly cost you money as I imagine your solicitor will charge for further advice / instructions...

So if you're in no great rush and not expecting an imminent windfall then fuck him!

I've been very clean with my solicitor that they are going to have to charge me for it then they need to let me know. I put it in a lot of emails to them. They've said everything so far is covered under legal aid.

He's the type that would leave his tax return to the very last day. The type that has an apparent medical condition yet never turns up to his hospital appointments or takes the medication he's been prescribed. I was his mother for a long long time. I knew I'd have to do some of this for him.

I agree with Serenity however I’d also question whether he’s trying to wriggle out of the clean break clause - particularly given you’ve mentioned gambling…

I think it’s a combination of him enjoying making life difficult for you because he’s a wanker plus he can’t be arsed to sort stuff out because he’s a lazy wanker.

It's just like he just cannot do anything that anyone asks him to do. Like he likes to make his own life and everything else difficult.

I am offering him a lump sum of money but only if he accepts the clean break order and completes the paper work. Other wise he won't be getting it - it's for my car which he technically owns.

He is very eager for the money which comes to no surprise. He also wants to meet up for me to transfer the money to him and he will give me the court papers. Which isn't happening - I can't trust him to fill it out correctly and there's no way I'm handing any money until my solicitor have checked over the forms and think they are fine to send to the courts.

It just screams control too. I don't know why he wants to see me in order to do that

Just let it go at his pace…eventually your car will be worth nothing….

Fuck him. Do nothing and ride it out. He’s a lazy fucker who assumes some mug ( you) will do the donkey work.

Just grey rock,

"You need your own solicitor, they'll tell you what to do"

Exactly. He won't ever change I don't think.

I'm not surprised at his behaviour but equally I am seen as he's jumped straight into a new relationship. I thought he would be rushing it through in a desperate move to divorce his 'crazy ex wife' which no doubt I've been labelled as 🙄