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AIBU?

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Original poster

School Mum and Santa talk

42 replies

Miloandfreddy · 15/02/2024 08:13

My little boy 8 was at a birthday party at the weekend with around 6 of his friends. Party was at his friends house and it was a drop off party. All went great, he came back with his party bag and a smile on his face. My husband picked him up, no issues reported at that stage. Yesterday at school pick up I was approached by the birthday boys mum (in front of quite a few others) and told how my son told everyone at the party there was no such thing as Santa as he had found my Amazon list on my phone and also had found presents hidden throughout the house!!!! This is the first I have ever heard of this and I was mortified. AIBU in thinking this could have been a private conversation and I shouldn't have been shamed in front of everyone else? Also what on earth do I do about my son?

OP posts:
PartyLikeIts2024 · 15/02/2024 09:20

It's the normal way and the normal age kids find out. She's over reacting

Marblessolveeverything · 15/02/2024 11:42

I am in Ireland my son is ten he never really believed but his friends did until second class or so.

What concerns me about people saying "my 9+ child believes" is research shows a large proportion of their peers have seen something online that scared them, the stats on pornography post age 10 are staggering.

I really think there is a need to consider the anomaly of these statements. I appreciate people have an attachment but there is a greater understanding of the value of not lying having open conversations. If a child of 9 knows about Santa but their parents don't acknowledge or realise then are they going to tell their parents when they see something online, it could be on any phone.

2mummies1baby · 15/02/2024 11:52

QueenBean22 · 15/02/2024 09:06

Your son was mean to do this. You need to have a chat about kindness.

they other parent should have approached you differently but I can understand their frustration.

it’s ok if you don’t want to do Santa, but don’t ruin it for those families who do

I don't think he was mean at all! It would be mean for an adult to tell a group of 8 year olds this, but not for another 8 year old to do so!

TemplesofDelight · 15/02/2024 11:52

CarpetSlipper · 15/02/2024 08:20

Do absolutely nothing. If other parents have a problem with this, that’s their issue. It’s fucking weird the lengths some people go to keep a lie going.

This. It's not your job to keep up a charade other parents are this invested in.

ilovebreadsauce · 15/02/2024 11:54

They are 8, most of them wo t believe! Certainly not next year at 9 years old!!

WhatNoUsername · 15/02/2024 11:58

CarpetSlipper · 15/02/2024 08:20

Do absolutely nothing. If other parents have a problem with this, that’s their issue. It’s fucking weird the lengths some people go to keep a lie going.

This. How ridiculous. You can't stop your child from speaking the truth! And 8 is very old tbh to be believing in Santa! Surely they "know" by that age and are just going along for fun. And lots of children find out from their peers anyway surely?Can't believe the mum had a go at you about it. Ffs parents are mental these days.

trooc · 15/02/2024 11:58

I shouldn't have been shamed in front of everyone else?

You were only shamed because you let her shame you.

I would have laughed and said 'well he is not wrong, is he?'

Catza · 15/02/2024 12:03

This is a perfect opportunity to have a discussion about tolerance when it comes to others' beliefs. I don't believe in Jesus but will only have a theological debate if invited to do so by others who do believe. Otherwise I keep my mouth shut and internally roll my eyes.

Hillarious · 15/02/2024 12:04

We still have the magic of Santa, and my kids are 23, 25 and 27. No presents under the tree until Christmas morning, but we never pushed the myth that one person delivers (and even provides) all the presents to everyone in the world in one evening. That's the problem some parents are then dealing with when at differing ages children start to understand reality, physics and economics.

Original poster
Miloandfreddy · 15/02/2024 12:46

Testina · 15/02/2024 09:13

He's never had my phone in his life and it's locked with a passcode! He does have a habit of looking over my shoulder and occasionally he'll have it to watch YouTube when he's sat right beside me, so it's not impossible that the little rascal could have been snooping without me realising!

🤪

Lol, he's never had it in his life by himself is what I should have said!

OP posts:
toastandtwo · 15/02/2024 12:57

Marblessolveeverything · 15/02/2024 11:42

I am in Ireland my son is ten he never really believed but his friends did until second class or so.

What concerns me about people saying "my 9+ child believes" is research shows a large proportion of their peers have seen something online that scared them, the stats on pornography post age 10 are staggering.

I really think there is a need to consider the anomaly of these statements. I appreciate people have an attachment but there is a greater understanding of the value of not lying having open conversations. If a child of 9 knows about Santa but their parents don't acknowledge or realise then are they going to tell their parents when they see something online, it could be on any phone.

Absolutely, this. The number of parents who seem to tie themselves up in knots to maintain a lie but allow their kids unrestricted access to tech while still at primary school. It is utterly, utterly bizarre.

OP, have a quiet chat with your son about Santa being really important to some people and it’s a topic to be a bit careful about. But yes I think the public shaming was awful and absurd.

positivesliceofpie · 15/02/2024 13:48

My son new santa was not real around 6 years of age.

Your child was right.

fuckssaaaaake · 15/02/2024 18:04

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 15/02/2024 08:14

You talk to your son. Ask him if he said it and why, and then the impirtance of not ruining santa for all the other kids, its mean

He was obvs not trying to be mean, he's 8 and speaking facts!

JMSA · 15/02/2024 18:07

I would speak to your son. He needs to know it's not ok to burst the believers' bubble!

fuckssaaaaake · 15/02/2024 18:10

Christmas was still amazing for me even once I knew, it's really not the end of the world. He's had a good few years of make believe, now he can enjoy it in a different way. It's lovely when you see them being grateful to you for buying the presents and Santa doesn't take all the credit.

Some people believe in all the bible stuff, most don't, but we're all able to have a bloody lovely Christmas either way (unless your turkey is green by Xmas day, that wasn't a good one if I'm honest)

waterrat · 15/02/2024 18:12

My kids fully believed til end primary

But i would never expect other children to lie !!! Kids are amazing and they CHOOSE to believe in thr face of opposing evidence

Funusername · 15/02/2024 18:22

waterrat · 15/02/2024 18:12

My kids fully believed til end primary

But i would never expect other children to lie !!! Kids are amazing and they CHOOSE to believe in thr face of opposing evidence

Yes I strongly suspected my 5 year old twigged that something was up this Christmas as every Santa he saw was shorter or taller than the last one, but he went along with it anyway.

OP your son didn't nothing "cruel" and that mum was BU for trying to publicly shame you. I would've politely told her to calm the f*ck down.

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