The title says it all really. We (me & Dh) have been friends with another couple for 4 or 5 years. We used to live a long way from each other, but a while ago they moved closer to us, and seem to expect us to visit each other every 3 or 4 weeks. The trouble is their house is absolutely disgustingly filthy, and they don't seem to care or even be aware of it. The toilet is so filthy that I want to puke if I have to go in there, and they allow their cats to roam all over the worktops in the kitchen, so I don't feel I can eat anything while I'm there. Then every time we leave, even after just having a cup of coffee, which I try to turn down but they tend to force upon us, I worry that I'm going to be ill when I get home. We've also realised since we started seeing more of them, that they bore us now. It used to be OK when we only saw them a couple of times a year, but now, once we've talked about what we've done since we last saw each other, we just end up going over the same old ground. I feel awful saying it, but I don't really feel that I want to continue seeing them, but know they don't have many other friends, so feel bad dropping them, particularly as they've recently told us about some other people who they used to be very close to, who've suddenly stopped seeing them. They keep going on about they don't know why they've fallen out with them, and wish that they knew what they'd done wrong. Because of this, I almost feel that I ought to give some explanation, rather than frequently turning down invitations to visit, or telling them we're too busy for them to come to us, but really don't know how to handle it. So can you wise people of MN tell me what you would do please?