Screen time, yay or nay?

[FunnysInLaJardin]

I know that this topic is very divisive, so I thought I'd start an AIBU about it.

My teenaged kids get unlimited screen time and have done for as long as I can remember. It is the place where they chat to their mates, create stuff and generally chill out. It's their social life.

I have never imposed screen limits as it is IMO an unnecessary cause of conflict. I have seen many DC whose parents have tried to control them via screen time, and it has always gone badly resulting in a fractured relationship with their DC.

Obviously if their behaviour deteriorated I would address that but so far its not been an issue.

So from your perspective AIBU to think that screen time is far from the evil it is portrayed as, and is actually beneficial to kids?

My children are young, but from experience my 5 year old becomes more ratty and lethargic the more screen time he has. It has also affected his ability to then play, because screen time is the easier, laser option. Minecraft was introduced for the educational side of things (used in schools in other countries) and I can see the benefit, however he is so addicted to it we are worried. His dad was more like yourself whereas I'm a teacher and have seen the negative side of screen time. But now dad has come around and we use a sand timer to show him when time is up.
I think at every age, including my own, we often need a reset button to remember what we enjoy, to try new things and to get out in the fresh air as screen time is easy, addictive and as you said it is all encompassing, even with our social lives. I am currently on a detox and feeling much better with my mental health by setting my own time limit etc.

My kids have never had limits either however I do want them have fresh air and exercise each day if I feel they need a break from screens I'll get them outside or suggest we play a boardgame or something

I kind of agree with you but my DC are older so screens like Xbox etc or even PC Internet gaming weren't an issue until they were in secondary school so I may have felt different if they had been younger as many are now.

My DC are 9 and 6, if we didn't restrict screen time they wouldn't do anything else. They don't have a social life on games etc yet, and their behaviour definitely takes a nosedive if they're on for too long.

I think lots of tech time is very bad for our mental health and contributes to poor concentration and lack of resilience. But I have no real evidence for that, it's mostly just anecdotal and what I've observed.

Screens are like alcohol, nicotine, food, gambling etc. Some people are able to self regulate perfectly well. Some people can’t, so there’s no one size fits all strategy as a parent. I find it quite sad that some people are shaping up to spend their entire lives basically sitting in a room staring at a screen though. But at the same time, not my circus etc.

I do have limits for my two because they struggle to step away and I see changes in their mood and behaviour if they’re on screens too much.

My teen boys need a lot of parenting around screen usage. Everyone is different though, so if your child is self-regulating then that’s great.

It's all about balance isn't it. I don't have a strict '2 hours then you're off' policy but I do make sure dc have outdoor time, complete their homework and do other stuff as well as gaming. If they occasionally want a chill day gaming that's fine with me, providing it's not all the time. That's when I guess it could become harmful.

You're right, gaming is social and it's actually quite nice to hear dc laughing and chatting away with his mates online.

I find it way more annoying when he's ignoring me to scroll tik tok on his mobile.

YANBU
Screens is too general. There is bad screen time and good screen time.

Most schools use screens (issue iPads) so kids can access, do, and upload homework. Most textbooks are now digital. So the hitting the books to revise and doing homework is all on a screen these days. This is good screen time.

For my DC with dyslexia, being able to watch educational videos instead of struggling through a written version of an educational topic or even a required text is invaluable for their academic success. Watching Romeo and Juliet performed, watching a historical documentary- good screen time.

Minecraft and other creative, collaborative or educational games are also good screen time in moderation.

I tended to restrict or forbid screen time that was mindless and/or potentially damaging. Generally social media, tik tok & other silly YouTube videos, Reddit, etc. I also restrict screens as in TV shows/films no reality shows for example.