Do you say thank you at zebra crossings?

[bottomsup12]

Is it unreasonable not to thank a driver who stopped? Even though they legally and should stop?

I know people will probably say "yes basic manners" etc. as a driver, I never expect a thank you, and I certainly would never ever get annoyed if someone didn't say thank you (its an ott reaction imo).

Long rationale ahead, to preempt expected backlash on this...

Putting forward the argument that:
A) they legally have to stop. Do you thank everyone for doing things they have to legally do anyway?
B) saying thank you to someone suggests they are doing you a favour, but are they doing you a favour?
C) do drivers thank pedestrians for waiting patiently at the zebra crossing?
D) pedestrians have right of way when crossing a side road on their straight path, so drivers ever thank pedestrians who wait?
E) the deference that a lot of motorheads think pedestrians (and cyclists for that matter) ought to show them is an irritating suggestion that they are somehow more important than other road users just because they have the more powerful mode of transport - when in fact the Highway Code suggests equal if not priority to other road users.

I always say thank you, because even if they are supposed to I've had countless cars continue and not stop and so I am actually thankful for the ones that do.

I always do. I'd feel rude not to!

I always do, IME most people do, including kids. I like doing it and appreciate it when I'm driving and people thank me, however I wouldn't really be bothered if someone didn't.

I give the driver a bit of a nod and a wave.

It's just basic manners

Yes, unless they've tried to not stop then done it at the last moment then I think they're dicks who think pedestrians and the law are below them.
I'm a very courteous person otherwise.

I always do and never thought of it like that before ...🤔
I thank bus drivers when I get off the bus as well and they have to stop too! 😆

I always give a little 'thank you' wave and I've noticed my kids do it too. I wouldn't think anything of it, if I didn't receive one though. Athough I do get miffed if I'm driving and let another driver out and they dont acknowledge it.
Long may 'thank you' waves continue!

Yes I do, always.

As a driver I appreciate a nod etc and thank you, I particularly like it when a little one gives a cheery wave and smile (learnt from their equally cheer parent) because they always love a wave back.

I do. There’s one next to our house so I use it a lot and always give a quick wave of thanks.

I also drive through it a lot and don’t really expect or notice whether people thank me or not.

In not saying thank you it seems the other way round to me - like that pedestrian thinks they are more entitled on the road than drivers when they are equals.

Cars and pedestrians don't have equal rights on a zebra crossing though. They're very specifically places where pedestrians have priority.

the person I buy food from at the supermarket isn't doing a good deed in serving me, they're doing their job but I still thank them.

The difference between thanking a shop assistant and thanking a driver for stopping at the zebra crossing is that you have chosen to use shop assistant’s services and their time. They’re at work putting your food shopping through so that you can eat. It would be really rude to walk off without saying a polite thank you.
A bus driver is at work so that people can get from A to B. So they deserve a thank you too.

A driver stopping at the zebra crossing has a legal obligation to stop. And I think if people say thank you it’s like saying “Thank you for making the choice to stop for me today.” and therefore dilutes the fact that legally they don’t actually have a choice.

No. They are just doing what you're supposed to do at zebra crossings.

We should take every opportunity in all our interactions with fellow humans to show appreciation of what they do for us no matter if they are paid or required to provide this.

This is what will make all of our lives better.

Oops I didn’t mean to quote a completely different poster’s comment in my most recent post 🤦🏼‍♀️

When I am driving actually get irritated by people thanking me for stopping. I am only doing what I am supposed to do.

There are so many dodgy drivers in our area that don't follow the rules. I wouldn't like them to get the impression that stopping at the crossing was optional. Thanking them for stopping does exactly that.

My Mum was mowed down by a hit and run motorbike driver on a crossing and her injuries aged her by about 10 years.

I was hit from behind by a road rage driver after I had the temerity to stop at a crossing to let someone cross. I didn't stop suddenly or anything. He was just very impatient. After driving into me (I am convinced that it was on purpose) he then did a U-turn on the crossing, demolished some railings and then drove off.

I was left with a damaged car and was issued with a fine as I was caught on cctv stopped on the zigzags whilst I was waiting for police to come (they never did) and too shaken up to drive. So please don't thank me for stopping, it only encourages such dangerous behaviour.

I read somewhere that drivers who’ve been treated courteously are more likely to drive in a more careful way, more respectful of other road users. So I let cars out of side roads, thank drivers who let me through etc.. in the hope it gets passed on.

@ OP - Cars literally are king of the road- it might be the law for them to stop at a crossing, but it’s by no means always the case. I was recently waiting to cross the road: a car stopped and the car behind just overtook him and roared past. Another car actually stopped to ask me if I was OK, because it was so startling. So as a pedestrian, I certainly wouldn’t argue with a car, whether it was my right of way or not. I would, however, always thank a car that stops, because I have caused them to stop when otherwise they wouldn’t have done, so it’s just an acknowledgement of that fact.
@ DappledThings - Often you can’t actually see the driver - it’s quite hard to see into a car unless you are right up close, so many a pedestrian wouldn’t even notice your non eye contact (which is a bit strange, but each to their own).

@msbevvy you are totally right on every single thing you've said and your incident sounds horrific and I'm sorry about your mum.

@OpalOrchid I'm entitled to my own opinion, I thought this what Mumsnet was about! Having a say & if I want to be polite at a zebra crossing & the likes then I will.

Yes. And I have a horrible, childish habit of giving the middle finger to people who don't stop at zebra crossings it just makes me so angry

Yes it's polite can't stand when people don't. It's not hard to be polite

Neurodiverce wasn't used as an insult, why would it? I said it because it is a fact that sticking to rules rigidly and being anal and inflexible about them is a common tendency in which case if the op and others are not thanking because it's a legal requirement are neurodiverce it would be understandable that this is their slant because that's how their disability means they view the world versus someone who is neurotypical just being anal and miserly in their interactions 'just for the sake of being right and giving the minimum kindness and consideration they absolutely have to give in dealings with humans like it's something to ration.
To the first group I would personally be understanding that it's difficult to wrap their head around the 'thank you' thing rather than just stubbornly want to be right and generally a brusk abrupt person. The latter group is the one i'm saying to niceties grease the wheel of civil, pleasant interactions in the community.

I think that polite interractions between road users of whatever method of transportation are important. In a car, many drivers feel insulated and disconnected from the other humans going about their business around them. A mutual acknowledgement between pedestrian and driver is a human interaction and encourages further care as people progress along their journey.

It's nice to acknowledge other peoples' patience and care whether it was obligated or not. People can follow the letter of the law in an impatient and aggressive way.

Ashley Neal (youtube driving instructor/ intructor trainer) teaches that priority is given not taken. Sometimes it's worth giving a priority up to reduce congestion and improve traffic flows (slight tangent). Knowing priorities is important. As a pedestrian, I don't set foot on a crossing until I am satisfied that it is safe and other road users are aporoaching with appropriate caution.
A doggged attitude of this is the law and shall stick to the letter of it does not always result in the best use of roadspace. There are people on the roads that don't even follow that minimum, and too often they're not caught until an unpleasant incident occurs.

I shall stick to politely, acknowledging other road users with a nod or gesture. Most of the time it is happily recieved then passed on in other friendly acts.
And if my little cheery excesses pisses off miserly misanthropes, that gives me a little glow of schadenfreude. Win win!

I do

(a) I am thankful that they are following the highway code and not a psychopath

(b) I just think life is better when people say please and thank you and smile and generally try to make life that bit better

(c) it reminds them I am human

As a driver or cyclist I appreciate someone acknowledge that I have stopped whether that be a pedestrian or driver.