Feel to unwell to go to London tomorrow but no idea how to get out of it

[unsureaboutmyheart]

I have been working with a start-up brand and have organised their first photoshoot for tomorrow, for which I need to attend. However the past couple of days I’ve been really struggling and really don’t feel like I will cope with an 8 hour day in London and a two hour commute each way.
I need to be there because I am supposed to be managing it and have asked all of my team if they can cover but nobody can.

For the last couple of days I’ve been feeling really weak and breathless even walking to the kitchen. I have consistent tachycardia which is making my breathlessness harder to deal with. I’ve also had explosive diarrhoea however today feel so constipated despite having the urge to go and am bleeding from my rectum whenever I try and fail to go. I’m just passing blood and some stool but not emptying my bowels completely. It’s just sort of falling out with the blood.

I have Crohn’s but it’s been okay recently up until this week, but I’m not sure it’s a flare because it doesn’t feel ‘normal’ for me, and I never struggle with constipation.

I don’t know how I will cope getting breathless so easily and feeling how I do. But it’s my business and I would be so embarrassed to let them down.

I was wondering if anyone has any solutions on how to deal with this, it feels like I’m 100% going to have to go.

Please help!

I feel your pain. I gave Crohn's and suffer with bloody dioarreah which wipes me out.
If you HAVE to go tomorrow, I'd dose up with sugary drinks, eat scrambled egg and avoid caffeine. if you're getting the train, rest while you travel. Good idea about booking a hotel to rest.
Please do get yourself checked when you get back though especially if this isn't a normal flare up for you.

Could you look after their kid for them?

Can you pay a freelancer to go for you? You sound far too ill to go and I'm not sure why you didn't spend today seeking medical help and organising a freelance to cover you.
I think it would be very unprofessional to go when you are bleeding and obviously very sick.

You are definitely not well enough to facilitate in person, but could you support remotely from home - be on the end of a phone/Teams call etc.? Any physical items you'd have taken, could you get them couriered to the venue?

So sorry to hear this OP, it sounds like an awful situation! You really don’t sound well enough to go. It sounds like an emergency and I’m sure at least one of your team could ask a relative or friend to cover childcare as a one off even if they don’t want to - in a small team people usually pull together at times like this. I’d offer some kind of incentive (e.g. a bonus) to cover at short notice.

I think you should go to a&e tonight to get checked. Try one more time asking your team for cover with a financial incentive and make clear that you will have to cancel otherwise which will be awful for your business and reputation. Then failing that, contact the brand you’re working with to let them know you’re in hospital and won’t be able to make it - that way they’ll realise how serious it is and that you’re not just being flaky (and it’s true even if you don’t end up being admitted).

I have spent today asking and asked two freelancers who we have worked with before. So I made the decision that I was going to go. But I feel even worse this evening and am not coping at all, which is why I have this dilemma because I know it’s bad form to cancel last minute. I have also got a doctors appointment for Friday, because I told them I couldn’t go in tomorrow. I have made another attempt to ask the team and have made a £ incentive and am waiting to hear back. If I don’t hear back in the next half an hour I’m going to have to let the brand know and just hope it doesn’t end badly.

If you're incharge you'll need to.instruct one of your team to be there. (I don't think it is clear it's OP's business?). If not, you call in sick and whoever is in charge will need to manage it.

And get some medical attention, feel better soon

Can you supervise in real time via zoom/teams? Link up with someone on site.

Hey, fellow Crohnie here too. I've had those symptoms (minus the breathlessness) with many flares & there is no way I could have commuted 2 hours, never mind the rest of the day.
I hope you are feeling better soon, but you really can't do your trip tmw.
Fwiw- if you were still having diarrhoea I would suggest eating some marshmallows- brilliant for slowing down the gut.
& buscopan is brilliant for cramping.

Seems like you might need a steroid though, and keep an eye for any symptoms of a blockage.

Get well soon!

Sorry you are so unwell. A few possible suggestions- apologies if unsuitable!

Could you offer to cover childcare expenses for one of your staff?

Could you offer a bonus (financially, gift, time off) given it might be less costly than cancelling/rescheduling?

Could your husband/partner attend on your behalf and you direct them remotely through Zoom/Teams to what needs to happen?

Yes, can you do this?

This is one of those situations, you just have to find an alternate or cancel. You just can't attend clearly because it means risking your health at dangerous levels.

Sometimes we simply have to bow down to what's not in our control.

Oh I really sympathise with you. I'm self employed in the creative industries and know exactly how you must feel - I'd be so anxious about it. I would love to say I'd stay home, and I know this will be an unpopular opinion, but I think I would suck it up and get on with it then take the rest of the week off to recover.

Can you book a hotel nearby to the photoshoot? You can pop back for a rest and to use your own bathroom if you feel bad and there won't be the 2hr commute home.

Do you know any of your team well enough to offer them ££ to cover emergecny childcare tomorrow? If their children are primary school age they may well be able to get a last minute place in a camp (there are usually no-shows)

Two of my friends have been complaining of exactly the same thing, could it be a bug going around ?

The breathlessness sounds worrying to me. It seems as if you have realised you can’t go but please get yourself seen by a doctor before Friday.

Are you breathless because you are anaemic due to blood loss? You need to get yourself checked out, sorry.

It sounds like these may be the best ideas (though I’m not sure about the one involving your husband - you might be better off trying Upwork or Freelancer or something, and seeing if you could get someone in a hurry for an emergency situation).

But I would start from a point of accepting that you cannot go. It sounds like your condition has worsened tonight, you’re breathless and passing blood when you have Crohn’s, and there’s a real danger that you could lose consciousness and hurt yourself on the way to London and end up in a hospital in the middle of nowhere or in London and end up in a hospital two hours from home. So please, don’t risk it. You’re too valuable as a person outside of work, and to your DH and DC.

Offer the bonus. Offer to cover emergency childcare. Make it clear that you yourself may have to go to A&E soon so you really, truly cannot go. Others may step up when they understand the scope of the emergency.

Cancel. You are allowed. Phone your immediate boss and let them know. It will be one less thing to worry about. You can then concentrate on getting well. No one is indispensable.

Did you hear back OP?

@Tel12 - Several of us read it as being the OP's company. She IS the boss, so no 'other' boss to call for help!

@Fedupwitheveryone @pipsas - If you'd read the OP's replies, you'd she/he already asked staff to cover, and also offered a money incentive to do so- with no one taking it up!

Oh op this sounds awful.

I hope someone stands in for you.

Hi OP, have you tried asking the photographer, stylist or the studio if they know a freelance producer who can step in?

They will all have a vested interest in the shoot being a success. I work with a lot of photographers and stylists and the established ones have great networks.

Let the photographer and stylist art direct the shoot. If each shot has been planned and shoot plan/scamps created - it should be relatively straightforward? Ask them to send you each shot for approval? Producers are generally the more dispensable of the creative team, yes things might not be as organised without them, but it's not like a photographer or stylist being unable to make the shoot = no pictures!