To expect at least a card? It's my birthday and it's valentines day!

[Stressedgiraffe]

Don't know why I'm surprised. It's my birthday and it's valentines day and I got nothing from dh.
My parents came round at lunchtime with cake flowers and presents.
Dd is making dinner
But nothing from dh.
I love making a thing of birthdays , cake presents balloons .
I even had to prompt him to wish me a happy birthday.
I despair.

Tell him he's a arse and then get him nothing for his birthday or Christmas.

Happy Birthday! and I hope you find some consolation in your parents' and friends' recognition and celebration of your day. That's a silver lining. I'm afraid I just don't understand your husband - or other husbands - who doesn't even wish you a happy birthday let alone a card or a present. I can't fathom it and I'd be upset by it.

Is it always like this? What’s he like the rest of the year?

If he shows you no care and no love generally, then you really need to reassess your relationship. If he’s generally great but just doesn’t do “event” days, you need to decide how much it matters to you and either come to terms with it, give him an ultimatum or acknowledge that you aren’t compatible and it’s going to slowly ruin your self esteem and relationship.

If he used to care but has stopped over the years, here’s my experience, for what it’s worth: My DH used to be great about birthdays and Christmas. We made a fuss of each other, got presents some better than others but always an effort. Went out for dinner or cooked a special meal or went away for the day/weekend. Then he started getting crap. Bought a generic present on the day. Forgot entirely one year. Nothing booked in advance so ended up just going out somewhere local. Went on a few years, got worse when we had kids. I was resentful but one day I just snapped and stopped trying for his birthday. Things were otherwise good, but I’d grown resentful about the lack of effort over birthdays and Christmas. I got him late, phone it in presents and a local restaurant for a couple of years. Suddenly he started trying for mine again. If he actually values having his birthday made a fuss of, you could try making your point by giving him a taste of his own medicine. I don’t recommend this if he doesn’t show you he cares in other ways, though. Don’t drag out a bad relationship by throwing good money after bad.

I wouldn't be remembering his birthday again.

How long have you been together? Has it always been like this? If it's unusual has anything happened recently that might explain it?
He is an arse though. I wouldn't accept having my birthday forgotten

You can’t force someone to be nice. DH sounds as if he has an issue with his feelings for you. Is there more going on here?
If he has other, incredible, redeeming features then maybe this attitude is worth living with.
Should he be generally uncaring then it’s time to decide if you want to continue the relationship.

No it's all a bit crap. We muddle along but we have a platonic relationship. Married 20 years this year . Dds growing up and nearly leaving home.
I just feel a but crap. He said he'd buy me something but apparently the money went on bark for the garden. Just venting.

Do you want to continue in a platonic relationship? Presumably you muddled along as you had a child at home. But if she'll be gone soon, is this the life you want for yourself? I realise economically and emotionally it can be a hard leap to make. But life is short.

Sounds shit. I hope you do fuck all for his birthday and tell him the money went on some mundane shite. Why are you with him?

Sorry he forgot x

You can pick up birthday cards for £1. This isn't about the money, it's about the effort of getting the card(s). Dh and I don't do valentines but I would be very upset at no acknowledgement of my birthday.

You don't have to be in this marriage op

How is he acting over it? Doesn’t care/sorry/sheepish?

He's rude. Even if your relationship is platonic, you live together and have a child together. Is he not embarrassed? I would definitely bring it up by the end of the day (just in case he has a big plan). He should know you well enough by now to know that these things are important to you, even if not for him. Happy birthday! X

He's gone to bed. Dd has gone out with boyfriend so I'm currently eating a pizza.
I went shopping and picked up some flowers for myself.

Make him an exhusband and be happy

It is Ash Wednesday. First day of Lent (for those unaware of its meaning). I don't think you give up birthday cards for Lent.

Happy Birthday 🎂