Return to work?

[Bleakmidwinter1977]

I paused my career around 12 years ago to support a business venture of my husband's. The venture needed both of us to get it off the ground. Business has been very successful. We both have equal input and hours, however the nature of the business means it cannot continue without him.
DH is now considering retiring early and has "suggested" I return to my previous career.
I am more than irritated by this. Had I thought I would be returning to my previous career, I would not have let my registration lapse (previously worked in the nhs).
It also feels a bit of an insult, a 40 hour week would bring in only a small fraction of what we are currently making. My 40 hour week is roughly the equivalent of 5 hours of his time.
AIBU to think he should reconsider retiring?

So his idea is that he retires and you work full-time instead?

Is there a very large age gap between you?

We're the same age, he wants to shift to part-time hours, without the need for my input (other than book keeping).
I currently wfh, around the school run. He has suggested he takes over this.

I dont think he has to stay working to keep you in a job, no. If he wants to retire, that is up to him. You either retire as well, or sort yourself out with a different job.

Is both of you moving to part time hours within the business an option?

I wouldn't be too impressed if my DH suggested what your DH has, if I'm honest.

Can you both work half time at the business? Surely the goal should be for you both to be able to cut back,not one cut back and the other work their arse off.

There won't be enough work for us both with his reduction in hours. I'd essentially draw a wage for doing very little. I enjoy working, definitely don't want to retire. I'm just kicking myself that I allowed my "own" career to lapse; had I ever thought this would be a temporary situation (I consider 12 years temporary), I would have continued to work limited hours in my previous career, so it would be easier to step back into full-time. I think I have a right to be irritated.

I’d be saying that since he is effectively looking at making your job redundant, you expect him to pay you accordingly and you will take that into account when looking for another job.

I'm not really understanding how both these statements can be true

We both have equal input and hours

however the nature of the business means it cannot continue without him.

He crafts the items we sell; when he reduces the volume he crafts, he can do all he currently does, with reduced need for all I currently do (social media content, sales, marketing, enquiries, logistics, ect.)

How old are you and how 'early' is he retiring?

I think this depends on whether he is expecting you to subsidise his early retirement or not.

He, for some reason, doesn't want to spend all day with you.

It's not about the money

We're 46.
I don't need to subsidise his retirement. This isn't about the money, it's about career and ambition...I've essentially "missed" years in "my" profession, so will essentially have to start again.
He works from his workshop, I wfh, so he's not avoiding me, if anything, we will see more of each other.
I could consider a different career path altogether, which is probably the direction this will go in.

I could consider a different career path altogether, which is probably the direction this will go in.

On a positive note, it will be exciting to do this.

What was the plan when he first set up the business?

What was your role in the nhs? Will you have to do return to practice?

Unfortunately working in the NHS is unrecognisable to 12 years ago, I’d really encourage you to explore new career opportunities if time/money allowed. Especially as RTP courses are lengthy anyway and recruitment is dwindling rapidly due to funding.

Good luck in wherever your new chapter takes you.

FWIW I think you DH is being selfish. He’s leaving you in an impossible situation at only 46.

Aye. The lapsed registration makes things difficult.

I was in a similar but different situation - there was an age gap between me and my husband.

He retired at 60, intending to start a business. Didn't work out because of his ill health. I kept teaching (in a managerial post) until I was 58. Wanted to keep going, but DH wanted me at home - he was disabled by then. (For many years, I worked full-time and cared for my parents and then my husband too.)

I'd already gone down to a 4 day week and my HT wouldn't let me drop to 3 days. ( 6yrs later, the school's on my 6th replacement. Ha!)

I kept my hand in and kept my registration by doing a teeny bit of supply. I'm a widow now and really do need the wage and the ability to see people, so I'm glad I kept my registration going. I've had to start over to a large extent, but at least I didn't have the hassle of interviews and applying for registration.