Dead end job?

[newmenewname1]

Just getting to know a man in his 50's.
He works as a school caretaker. He's only been there a short time.
He doesn't own a home. He's staying with family at the moment.

I was talking to a friend about him and she said it's a low paid job with no progression and considering his age and housing status I should stay clear.

I rent and earn enough to support myself.

Are ou prepared to support financially? I wouldn't be.

There may be a reason he's currently in this situation

Doesn't mean you have to write him off

She sounds quite mean spirited in her outlook to be honest.Not everyone wants to chase progression and lots of money, and there might be a reason for his current living situations.

It would be small minded to rule an otherwise nice person out because a judgey friend thinks he doesn't earn enough.

@idontlikealdi
No I wouldn't.

I was just wondering with the job he has is there no way he could support himself?
I don't know how much he earns and certainly don't want to ask.
I googled average wage of school caretaker and it's about £23000.

It depends what you are looking for and what is and isn’t a deal breaker.

What do you know about his current situation? The job isn't an issue if he's happy and it pays what he needs it to. If it doesn't, well then it's an issue. Has he given a reason for living with family at this point in his life?

He might be a caretaker with £3mil in the bank. What he earns isn't relevant. But why is be living with family and whats his plan? They are the relevant questions if you are trying to see a future with someone.

For the school care taker I know, a house is part of his job. So this man may have had a home as part of previous care taker jobs in which case might be the reason he never got on the housing ladder.

I imagine he’d be pretty handy around the house too.

He split up with his partner.

I suppose I'm worried he can't afford his own place.
It's very early on so living together isn't on the cards.

Your circumstances don’t sound terribly different. Neither of you own a home. I wouldn’t call a school caretaker a dead end job - it’s a stable position, decent pension, takes a particular type of personality. Presuming he’s currently getting back on his feet after his recent break up and has plans to rent his own place in the medium term, I can’t see any problem with his financial situation. You’re presumably both in your fifties so you’re not looking for a man who can bankroll you to be a SAHM of joint children, just somebody stable.

He wouldn't be for me, but it depends what you're looking for in a relationship. You can still enjoy spending time together and going on dates. There's no requirement to live together or join finances.

He's not called Michael is he?

Just noticed you rent, so you don't own a home either. Your situations are not necessarily wildly different, you may earn similar, he may have well more than you in the bank.

23k is a perfectly adequate sum to support a single adult with no financial commitments.
For all you know, if he has been living with family, he may have a large sum in savings.
To put it into perspective, my 19 year old spent year saving for a deposit for a flat on 23k, purchased the flat, bought a nice second hand car outright and lives very comfortably (and within his means) working full-time, study part-time in his own home. If his salary never changed, he could still adequately support himself financially.
Get to know the person, and don't make assumptions. Many people are happy in a low-pressure, enjoyable job, earning enough to keep them comfortable, rather than working themselves to the bone for financial reward but little personal gain.

Yes I do rent but my wages are enough to pay all my rent and bills and have left over money for holidays and days out and put away money every month for savings.

No mention of what you think of/ feel for him. Do you fancy him? Is there a connection there? Do you feel you are well matched intellectually, emotionally etc?

@LauritaEvita
I do really like him.
Him living with family does put me off a bit. I assumed it would be temporary.
I just don't know if he could realistically get his own place on a low wage with the cost of housing as it is at the moment.

Aside from the fact that is not to challenging to live off 23k as a single adult, why does it make a difference if he doesn't have his own place when you do? If the relationship ever reached the stage where you were looking to live together, 23k would more than adequately cover his share of bills.
However, if you are a particularly high earner, I would be more concerned that, socially, he may be on more of a budget. In that case, conflicting lifestyles would be more of an issues than basic income or where he lives.
However, he may also have substantial savings, have previously sold property and banked the cash, have an independent source of income e.g. rent out a property or receive private pension.

In which case, I’d try to steer conversations toward what his future plans are. Is he happy to continue living with family or has he made it clear he’s got plans to get his own place etc?

It would also depend, as someone else has said, on what your finances are like. My friend earns much more than her partner, for example, and made the decision early on in their relationship to contribute more towards the type of holidays, nights out etc she wanted and was used to. If they were going halves, they would have to book more budget esque holidays. She decided she was happy to pay more than him to go to the kind of places she could afford. She had really hit it off with him, was happy to do this, could afford it and there is no resentment there. They are now settled with a baby and very happy. But I know some women would resent being the main bread winner/ source of disposable income so it’s really personal.

My friend said he was probably looking at me as a way to move out of his mother's house.
When I said he could get his own place she laughed and said not in a low paid job like he has.

I'm not looking to live with anyone soon. I like my space.

I suppose it's put doubts in my head into how serious he is or if I'm being used.

You can bear in mind what your friend says if he gives you some clues later on that she’s maybe got a point. But if he isn’t saying/ doing anything at this point to indicate that’s the case (I.e. hinting about moving in with you) then it’s just a thought she’s had that might not be based on anything. I think you’ll only know his motivations by speaking to him. What are his plans? Is he currently looking or saving for a deposit etc? These are quite big clues about what his intentions are.