To be struggling this much with food

[Iknowitsmyfaultbuthere]

I know it’s my own fault before anyone starts but this is where we are. My three year old doesn’t eat and only eats if you feed him. My baby is meant to be introduced to solids and I can’t manage to feed them both. It’s a mess and I feel really overwhelmed and upset with it all.

Have you spoken to your HV about your child having this delay with self feeding?

No. He can do it, just won’t.

Has it always been the case or only started after the baby arrived?

I'd be tempted to feed baby first and make him wait. As cruel as that seems. I suspect it is a ploy for attention away from baby.

When he goes to nursery and school they will force him to do it by himself and will notify you what he does. Keep trying to encourage him and if it does not go anywhere , ask for occupational therapy

Can you feed both at the same time? One for baby, one for toddler, kind of thing.

He doesn’t care @Cocacolacarrie .

He does go to nursery @MamaAlwaysknowsbest .

Mine all went through a phase at that age of wanting to be fed. I just went with it tbh, they soon got bored of it. So my question would be, is this a newish thing or has it always been this way?

I’d also be tempted to give baby finger foods to feed themselves and praise them for being so big and clever when they pick it up etc.

Aww, please don't beat yourself up. It's hard work!

My son was like this. Fed himself at 1 year old but then stopped and wanted to be fed for the next few years! I just did it to get food in him. He grew out of it but like I said, it took a few years.

And I thought this post may relate to me, in that I have a problem with food because I eat too much!

She doesn’t eat finger foods, or any foods really. I just can’t get either of them to eat.

I nanny a child like this, he's the same age. He can do it so don't stress about it. Leave him the spoon and feed the baby, or just get him finger foods for lunch if you really think he won't eat at all, and then maybe for dinner you can just shovel some food in?

Agree with a PP that he'll do it when he's in a setting FT and eating with other children.

100% this

How old is the baby? I'd let the baby feed herself, even if it's not technically "finger foods" - e.g. mashed potato, soft pasta, mushed up vegetables - just let her go to town. It will be all over her head and hands and the floor but that's half the fun ☺️

With the three year old, have you tried making the food fun? E.g. sandwiches and pastries in the shape of stars or trains or dinosaurs (find cutters on Amazon), dye it different colours, thread things onto a plastic skewer and make a "kebab," let him try kids' chopsticks.

If you gave him a bag of crisps, would he eat them?

If the answer is yes, try putting his food in a little picnic/party bag for him to eat out of. Obvs not spag bol but chopped fruit, cheese cubes, little squares of sandwiches etc. My niece went through a terrible time of not eating (at home - fine at nursery) when her baby brother was born. She ate her main meal at Nursery and had a party bag tea.

How old is the baby?