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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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2 replies

Littlebird23 · 13/02/2024 16:25

I am a new mum. My baby is now 6 months old. She’s just had serious surgery. My partner had cancer last year and is still being treated but he is ok. He is back to work now, working from home and I am on maternity leave. He has made me feel really lazy recently because our home is not a show home. I take care of our daughter, medicines, special feeding and all the other things that come with a baby and I sometimes sit and watch Netflix, guilt free. However, he has recently been throwing around the fact that he’s the “breadwinner” and that I shouldn’t be so lazy and should be doing more at home. When I’m working, I’m in a high-paying, high-stress job. I want to enjoy my maternity leave with my baby. We have different outlooks of priorities at home. I don’t think cleaning the dishes is as important as playing with my child when she’s awake. I don’t think doing the washing is as important as self-care. This isn’t to say that it doesn’t get done. It just doesn’t get gone immediately. I just feel like my independence is being taken away and I am relying on him financially that I don’t have a leg to stand on when it comes to him making these demands. My partner also gets really cross when I “expect” him to watch the baby after work whilst I do whatever it is I need/want to do.

OP posts:
Katemax82 · 13/02/2024 16:29

Tell him to piss up a rope (not helpful I know) he's being out of order

Starrysky812 · 13/02/2024 18:24

@Littlebird23 I agree with PP this is totally of order. Why is it that men (granted not all
I'm sure) feel like they're doing you a favour when they look after their own child? Have you tried discussing any of this with your DH? If you've only got a few months of mat leave left, it might be worth having an open chat about these things so that things don't continue to fester. Sorry you're having this experience when you should be enjoying DC and your time together xx

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