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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

‘Put your phone in your bag!’- AIBU?

36 replies

Popandcrisps · 12/02/2024 18:54

I’m sure I’ll be told I am and that I should be grateful for people being nice. At the train station and train is delayed and I’m on WhatsApp to keep DH updated. In between WhatsApps I’m just holding my phone in my hand. A random woman has told me twice to put my phone in my bag. AIBU to be finding this really irritating?

OP posts:
theduchessofspork · 12/02/2024 21:09

Some women came up to me yesterday and asked me if no one would do anything for the homeless guys opposite us.

They may be related

10ThousandSpoons · 12/02/2024 21:23

Kazzyhoward · 12/02/2024 19:14

Perhaps she's seen someone suspicious looking at you and appearing to be ready to nick it from you? She may be trying to warn you without actually coming out and saying you're being scoped out for being robbed!

That's what I was thinking. She's clocked someone watching you.

Hardbackwriter · 12/02/2024 21:26

stcrispinsday · 12/02/2024 19:19

"Mind your own business" is what I'd be saying to her.

I have a rucksack where the front pocket zip is jammed open. Consequently I never put anything in there but I do still use the bag. The number of people who tap me on the shoulder to tell me my bag is open is infuriating. I have to remind myself that they each think they're being helpful, they're not conspiring to annoy me 😁

Argh, I also find that people go on about my open bag (that I know is open, and don't care is open) constantly and like you it really irritates me and I have to remind myself that they're trying to be nice!

Gowlett · 12/02/2024 21:29

I’ve lived in central London, Paris & London, so I can spot robbing opportunities (and knew a lot of the bad guys faces) easily. So many people walk around oblivious… That might not be you, but I can see she was trying to help. Once is enough, though.

Gowlett · 12/02/2024 21:30

And Dublin, sorry! That’s the worst place for it.

EbonyRaven · 12/02/2024 21:30

Some people are batshit, and also very nosey and intrusive and think everyone they meet needs their opinions and views.

I have had about half a dozen women approach me in the last few years (I am in my early to mid 50s,) and TELL me I need to wrap up, asking where is my coat? TELLING me I should not be wearing open toed sandals in 'this weather,' (a bit wet and 10 degrees C), and shaking their head and saying 'dear me,' and pointing at my cleavage. Obviously annoyed at me showing a tiny part of my breasts. Probably the same women who attack mothers who are breastfeeding. I think they're afraid their husband will look.

Some are about 10-15 years older than me, so they think they have the right to talk down to me/talk AT me because I am younger. And some are 10-15 years younger, and they probably think I am some daft fruitbat who can't dress herself properly because I have a short sleeved t-shirt on with my jeans, and open toed sandals - and it's only 10-12 degrees C. I'm not going out like this in minus 7 temps, I am not cold. I don't get cold easily, but I do get HOT. Also, I will dress how the fuck I want. I don't need anyone's fucking approval.

One woman (when me and DH were on a day trip last September, and it was 14 degrees C, and a tiny bit breezy,) stepped in front of me as me and DH were walking, and STOOD in my pathway, and said 'why on EARTH are you not wrapped up better, Where is your coat?!' with this look >>> Hmm I had a short sleeved shirt on and jeans and trainers. She was about 5-10 years older than me, and was demanding to know why I had bare arms.

I just shook my head and sort of snorted, and half laughed, and walked off. She was not worth my time. Like, who the fuck did she think she was? My DH stood next to her said 'oh she doesn't feel the cold really, in fact she's always hot, and it's not that bad today.' Smile

I called over to him and said 'why are you talking to this person and WHY are you explaining anything to her? What I wear has got fuck-all to do with her!' And I walked off ... I was fuming with DH for 'explaining' to her. I said 'next time you walk off with me. and IGNORE them.' And there will be a next time because this has happened at least half a dozen times in the past 4-5 years. It's always a woman too. Telling me how I should be dressed.

I don't know who the fuck these women think they're talking to. But I won't be told what to do/how to dress, and I won't be talked at. I ignore them, or give them a short shrift. They are as bad as the 'smile it might never happen' men and the 'random men' who try and talk to you by saying banal stuff, and throwing in unwanted opinions.

They are not in ANY WAY 'trying to be nice.' Hmm

NotStylishOrBeautiful · 12/02/2024 21:38

She’s a teacher on autopilot. She’ll threaten to confiscate it next.

LizFromMotherland · 12/02/2024 21:49

Popandcrisps · 12/02/2024 20:05

That sort of thing annoys me too.

As to why didn’t I ask why - because I don’t care why. I had no intention of putting my phone away.

Of course you care, you ran straight into a shop and logged onto Mumsnet to talk about it.

Popandcrisps · 12/02/2024 22:03

LizFromMotherland · 12/02/2024 21:49

Of course you care, you ran straight into a shop and logged onto Mumsnet to talk about it.

No, you’ve misunderstood what I’m saying.

I don’t care why she was telling me to put my phone away. I don’t care why she thought I should, I had no intention of putting it away.

I did care. It pissed me off and I was stuck at a train station with little else to do so had a wee vent on MN. Smile

OP posts:
Redglitter · 12/02/2024 22:09

Surely if she'd seen someone looking at OPs phone or was concerned about her safety she'd say you might want to put that away, there's been a few snatched from people in the area

To just say put it away is weird - and rude

positivesliceofpie · 12/02/2024 23:15

She would have said it to me to hide the shame of my phone its a nokia call and text and snakes.What more would you need.😁

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