To think it’s insensitive

[Wowreaally]

To tell your friend how hard you find motherhood, how awful pregnancy was and how the constant fighting once the baby arrived between you and your spouse is the height of insensitive if you KNOW your friend who is desperate to have a baby just had a miscarriage of their first pregnancy that same week. They were going in at the angle of ‘you’re not missing anything, as heartbreaking as your experience has been it’s not all sunshine and roses’ but I just think it’s not the time and place or person to complain to. AIBU?

Yanbu that's really not a good friend op. Sorry for your loss. I would keep a distance from her while you are healing

Yes it is insensitive.

It’s more than insensitive, it’s mean.
Hope you’re ok 💐

insensitive
but sounds like heart in right place

Incredibly insensitive. I’m sorry for your loss.

It really doesn’t sound like they have a heart!

Insensitive and cruel, distance yourself OP, this is not a nice person full stop.

those are horrible things to say

I agree, very insensitive and thoughtless. Though probably not intentional. I'm very sorry for your loss.

YANBU. I’m sorry for what you have gone through.

Awful behaviour from the new mum.

Sounds nothing like heart in the right place at all!

Sorry OP, more than insensitive, awful behaviour

I also think heart in right place, and I’m not sure I’m aligned with never mention your kids if someone had a miscarriage. Because praising, or practical or negative will habe the same result if you’ve that mindset.

i am also not a fan of the Scorched earth approach people take to friendships on here. The lack of ability to communicate and the simple end the friendship nonsense.

I doubt your friend was intentially trying to hurt you. I would think she was trying to say that being a mother is not all its cracked up to be, to try to make you feel better.

It was insensitive of her but not cruel.
If this friend is normally a good friend, let it go.
If she has foem for these types of comments then cut her loose.
I'm sorry for your loss.

My firstborn was stillborn, 1 week after my sister dropped by with all her tampons and sanitary towels, she was pregnant so thought she would give me all of her feminine hygiene products because she didn't need them. Her heart was in the right place but God I could have strangled her.

I don't know, really. I've had two miscarriages, I saw them both as nature's way. They were sad, but part of life (and death). My sadness didn't mean that my friends couldn't have their share stuff going on. Friendships are meant to be mutually encouraging and supportive and understanding, not pain-top-trumps. But I've known my friends for years and years and years. Perhaps if it were an acquaintance, or someone with whom I didn't have understanding, I'd think differently.

I think there are a few occasions where you keep your stuff to yourself while your friend is really going through the mill. I guess I just don't see miscarriage as one of those occasions. But, that's not being right or wrong, just different.