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AIBU?

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CFs and bad manners

1 reply

Chopbob · 11/02/2024 21:44

This is a bit of a rant inspired by a few other threads on AIBU recently.

What is this new selfish attitude towards wedding/parties that seems to evolving the last few years? E.g. Excluding one half of married couple, excluding certain children and not others e.g. step children, wild dress codes, wild gift lists. I even read an absolutely awful thread about excluding a disabled child who was a close relative of the bride/groom.

I have read so many times "it's their day, their choice" but this just seems to be code for treating others really shitty, expecting others to accept the shitty behaviour and then expecting no consequences.

It makes me so sad that people seem to be so self absorbed that they cannot see/do not care that their actions may have made another person feel absolutely awful?

Do the people getting married/throwing parties, etc. really expect their loved ones to take this on the chin with no hard feelings?
Is it really worth causing irreparable damage to relationships for the sake of one day?

It blows my mind how many other posters on here agree with the callous behavior. It's like everyone has lost their manners and we don't know how to function as a polite society anymore.

Maybe I'm just getting old and grumpy!
Rant over lol.

OP posts:
MCOut · 11/02/2024 22:01

I’m on the fence with this one OP. On one hand you’re right some threads have been ridiculous. There are some which are just so unkind, it’s particularly bad when it’s to children. Or not hosting guests well (I’m not talking anything fancy but basic things like making sure your guests are warm or fed).

However, some posters need to gain perspective, grow a pair and learn how to say no. If you don’t like a dress code, just decline. If it’s a destination wedding, and you don’t have the money or the inclination to go, just decline. If it’s a childfree wedding and you cannot find childcare, again decline. If the hen party is going to bankrupt you, decline. The drama over couples asking for money needs to stop, if you don’t want to give money, don’t. I have never understood the people who go out of their way to rock up with a boxed gift out of spite.

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