Mothers intuition

[Ohmy88]

Do I just not have this? Or does it come later in life? I hear mums say things like “that’s a tired cry” etc but 6 months on & I still don’t know why my DD is crying most of the time. As in most of the time she’s crying, not that she cries most of the time. Although the last few days have felt a bit like that! Second DC too so not like I’ve not done this before 🤔

Takes time. And often those saying "that's a tired cry" know not just because of the cry but the fact it's almost nap time etc.

I honestly think quite a lot of this is bollocks. People trying to make themselves sound more insightful than they actually are. Or just applying common sense (ie a baby hasn’t had milk for a while so it’s logical they would be hungry.

I think it's bollocks too

You know your kids routine so it's a guess

One of mine did a strange "cough" when she was tired.

I think it depends on the child! I knew a couple of women through NCT who could say, without even pausing to think, whether their baby was tired or wet or whatever. Their babies were just very much creatures of habit - one of them used to crack us all up because he'd do this little-old-man style yawn at precisely 3pm, and curl up for his nap!

IMO intuition is really just about reading the signs, however subconsciously you do it. I could always tell when DD was about to vomit, because she had (to me) obvious 'tells' in the way she moved. But she was a champion puker and so I had plenty of opportunities to learn the drill.

Honestly, don't let it worry you. It really is to do with how predictable they are. If yours isn't, yours isn't!

My kids cried differently when they were hungry, tired or sick. It didn’t take long to tell between them. If your child doesn’t make a different noise if they are tired or hungry then your mum probably just is thinking this is what you sounded like as a baby when you were tired.

(bit like dh thinks it’s amazing I can tell when the dcs are sickening for something, but both of them always smell a bit vomitty when they are unwell, he’s just not got as good a sense of smell than me.)

I’m sure I watched a video once where researchers had studied babies crying and found that their mouth shape/cry sound varied subtly depending on the reason. I think it was something like if their cry started with more of an “nnn” tongue to roof of mouth shape/sound they were hungry whereas if it was a wide open mouth they were tired? Not sure if it was ever disproved or elaborated on though.

Thanks for all your replies x

We’re still lacking in any meaningful routine despite my best efforts! Still feeding on demand (she snacks all day & night 😩) & absolutely no nap schedule (no matter what I’ve tried!) - just falls asleep when she can’t fight it any longer & only on me or in the pushchair / car.

Maybe our serious lack of a routine is why I’m struggling to read her cues…

You poor love, you must be shattered!

Could it not very well be that she really doesn't give you any clues - and that is why you've not got a routine? I think some babies are just more chaotic than others. Horrible for you - but please don't beat yourself up about it.

Knowing a cry is a tired cry isn’t intuition! Sometimes it’s the obvious guess due to nap time, but often it’s because you’ve learned it, learned how your child cries when tired. It’s not a lack of intuition from you if your child doesn’t have a distinct cry!

Don’t worry about.

The ones that always made me laugh were “you know your own child’s cry” (nope) and you can pick out their voice (nope). It was an ongoing joke in my group of mum friends that when heard, “mummmmmmmm” some adult would say, “which mum?”

I think it's true.
It takes time but I can look back at my almost 4 year olds pictures from when she was a baby and know she needed a nap - I didn't know then!!
I can spot a tired baby now easy peasy but I deffo didn't realise until mine was two. I personally think it builds with time. :)

Your routine sounds like mine with DC1! I used to love it though, as everyone would leave a class or outing at 12.30 to get the kid in the cot on time and I'd just please myself! Embrace the chaos!

Still don't know my own kid's voice and often answer the inane questions when out and it's another kid and I'm getting dirty looks. Oops.

I never got it either op. I relied mostly on guess work and 13 years later, I still do!

My DS "creaked" as a baby before going to sleep so I'd know what the noise meant. It was a really long drawn out repetitive creaking noise. He still does it now (to a more subtle degree) and he's ten!

OMG! You've taken me back. DD 'creaked'. It's such a weird noise, isn't it?!

I needed to hear these experiences and some solidarity too, thank you.

I am grateful when we’re out & about that our days aren’t dictated by set nap times but my god the days at home can be long (& unproductive!) without hands free naps!

She is chaotic, but she’s a beautiful little ray of sunshine too. A lovely stranger in the supermarket said to me the other day “the days are long but the years are short” & it’s so true. So I’ll try & soak up the chaos whilst I’m in it 🤪