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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be overthinking a dividing fence?

2 replies

Ethnography · 11/02/2024 17:32

Last year we replaced most of the fencing between us and five other neighbours. There are three properties we back on to - one shares only one fence panel with us, another maybe a couple. Anyhow our dog kept escaping as the panels were broken & ending up in other's gardens. I was constantly being tagged on the local Facebook page so we viewed it as it's our dog escaping, so we'll replace the fencing; the concrete bases and posts, everything. Garden is like Fort Knox. Cost a few thousand as paid a fencing firm, but our choice & no escapee pooch.
The remaining fencing between us and neighbour four has come down in the recent winds. He's been round and said he'll replace the rest as we did the first bit. He's getting a company in. No problem.
The fencing between us & neighbour five has also come down as that too was knackered. At the time of us having fence people round, we established it was banjaxed and needed replacing. We replaced two posts and one panel, at our cost, but they didn't want us to replace any more. They let us know they were going to be replacing the fence this week and bought materials. They are installing new fences themselves. They are literally digging humongous holes to lay concrete to set the posts. It looks like a massive job. I have offered to pay half the material cost but for some reason I'm feeling dead guilty seeing them doing all the work. I can't offer to help as I know naff all about building stuff and I've lived with a chronic pain condition for 21yrs so me & manual labour don't really work.
AIBU to feel bad?

OP posts:
Tumbleweed101 · 11/02/2024 17:36

I've had a similar situation but I know my neighbours have either more skill or more help than me and I certainly couldn't physically do the fencing myself as a single person who knows nothing about how to go about doing it. I'd have to save up for professional help if it was my responsibility.

GOODCAT · 11/02/2024 17:44

Don't worry about it. If they can do fencing, they will be fine with it. We can do our own fencing and wouldn't expect a neighbour to contribute financially or physically.

Last time round our neighbour did help us, but more because he had asked for the fencing to be a specific kind and wanted to paint his side of the fence that we actually wanted to. We wouldn't have minded in the least if he hadn't offered to or been able to help. We were quicker for having a third pair of hands and got the lot done including painting in a single day.

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