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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just say no

5 replies

howfartospar · 11/02/2024 17:07

We have a sweet elderly lady living next door to us who needs a lot of care. We help her out with a few chores and even in times of emergency (she's fallen a few times) and are happy to do so.

The lady's son and wife come down to visit regularly, and have offered to take us out for lunch (by way of a thank you... although we always insist on paying/paying half) and up until recently my elderly neighbour used to join us, but her health has deteriorated.

As we've gotten to know the son and his wife we are particularly put off by the wife. I find her self-absorbed and demanding...and she rants about my elderly neighbour which I don't like.

Whenever they visit we're now in the habit of going for food with them and Not because we want to. I feel quite a resentment that I'm wasting time and money on going for food when i really don't want to do this on our precious weekends.

I would love to remain part of my neighbours support network, but how can i politely tell her son and his wife that i don't want to socialise with them.

It's awkward as they live next door for many months of the year.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
sorrynotathome · 11/02/2024 17:08

Just say you've got other commitments next time they visit. And the next time, and the next time. They'll get the message eventually.

howfartospar · 11/02/2024 17:18

sorrynotathome · 11/02/2024 17:08

Just say you've got other commitments next time they visit. And the next time, and the next time. They'll get the message eventually.

That's the way it's been on the last few occasions. It feels really awkward but maybe this is the way to go.

OP posts:
OtterlyMad · 11/02/2024 19:30

I would tell them that you’re on some sort of fad diet so you can’t eat out anymore. Or say that you’re having financial difficulties and need to tighten your belts (we Brits hate to talk about money so hopefully such a bold admission will scare them right off!)

Ktime · 11/02/2024 19:32

Just keep saying no.

Don’t slip up and agree to a one-off, it will prolong the torture.

howfartospar · 12/02/2024 21:43

Ktime · 11/02/2024 19:32

Just keep saying no.

Don’t slip up and agree to a one-off, it will prolong the torture.

I agree, but i struggle with letting people down. However, on this occasion i must stand firm.

OP posts:
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