What happens in holiday?

[TriggerwarningEmotionalabuse]

So sorry to post here but I’m quite stressed and need some answers as feeling very confused.
DH supposed to have been not doing an array of behaviours over the last 10 months… had stopped doing them mostly …
we are on holiday and they have all come back ten fold … why?
it can’t be because I don’t have family here as they all live in a different part of the uk any way?
please help me understand. I have said it before but I’m not sure I can stay in this marriage …. I actually found myself hoping for the happy version of him today. What is going on? I don’t know why he’s being like this ?

What sort of behaviours?

Like what?

What does he do?

I don’t understand. What is he doing?

Throwing stuff, only mildly in a stroppy way
ignoring me when we have argued
making zero attempt to try and repair anything
changing the story to suit what he wants it to be
crying when realised he’s been caught out
With the lies
blowing hot and cold
being short in conversations / not letting me speak and if I do it erupts
stating that he’s had enough of me

He's stressed and you're trapped, is my guess.

LTB.

But why is he being like this ?

eirher he’s a narcissist.

or he’s away from his usual routine and can’t cope.

Sounds like gaslighting.

I also think it's to do with being away from his usual routine. Shows you how easily he can revert back to it though. Do you really want to live life treading on eggshells ?

Presumably the behaviours are happening more because you’re together 24/7 without the usual distractions of work etc?

But these behaviours are not ok no matter what the “reason” is for them ramping up.

He sounds horrible. Do you want to stay with him?

Agree that it’s because you’re spending 24/7 together and he can’t pretend for that long.

What you’re seeing now is the real him.
What you were seeing before is him on his best behaviour.

You can tie yourself in knots trying to get others motivations. But ultimately you can only change your behaviour, not their feelings or behaviour. You either accept his behaviour or you don't, either has consequences.

Agree, he can’t mask it when you’re together all the time. This is the real thing.

A definite LTB.

You need to stop wondering why, because that's just another way of wondering what you could do to prevent it. There's probably nothing you can do, and if you could, why should you have to? All that matters is he is choosing to behave in an abusive way, and you are being abused by him. Don't waste your energy trying to work out how you might be able to make him stop when you could make it stop for you by leaving.

OP, it is either because he no longer wants to be in a relationship with you and now bring on holiday together he feels ‘stuck’ and is being unkind, immature, aggressive and passive aggressive (aka abusive) rather than handle and communicate his emotions openly and honestly

OR

He wants to be in control of you and your environment and doesn’t want you to enjoy new things on holiday, and needs to feel he is re-asserting control over you as he was doing before he was ‘supposed’ to be stopping this behaviour. Also you are away from your usual support networks, he thinks he can treat you however he likes. Aka abusive.

Either way his behaviour is not at all acceptable. He is abusive. No one wants to be with someone who behaves like this, whatever the reason.

Are you safe?

It’s not your fault.

Sod that for a game of soldiers. Can you go home and sort a divorce.
One life.