"I'm doing this for you / us / the family"

[BibbleandSqwauk]

Single parent myself so no skin in this particularly but just been pondering how many times I've seen on threads men who are very uninvolved in family life because they have the "big job" and when asked to step up more on weekends or evenings use the "but I'm doing all this work for us" line.

AIBU to think that actually most of them would be doing exactly the same job if it was just them to provide for. They aren't doing it to be the family provider but because it's THEIR career, THEIR promotion / pension / ego / status. How many really would happily step back if the wife was able to step up more on the earning front? Of course I'm generalising and not all households are like this, many are not, but AIBU to think the title line is a really non-valid "reason" for uninvolved (usually) fathers?

YNBU. These are likely the same men who, when the wives have had enough and leave, begrudge paying maintenance…imagine their thinking is what now I have to do BIG JOB and ‘womanly work’ and still have to give her money, what’s in it for meeeee?! Erm, paying for your children…

Yanbu but I do see both sides to the coin as yes they would still be working the same job on there own but minus the pressure of keeping that job and making sure they can provide efficiently for not only themselves but for there families.

When I was a single parent and ever lost a job only happened twice over many years knowing I had kids to provide for would send me into mass hysteria not even sleeping until I got a job at times sending cvs over at all hours.