AIBU about house valuations

[Downandout43]

I split up with my husband in September. I had to go to court in January to get a Non-Molestation Order and Occupation Order to make him move out and leave me alone. He was being emotionally, not physically, abusive. I am scared of him. He is contesting the Orders but they remain in place until the next hearing (could be months away due to court backlog). He was meant to return my house keys but has not.

I have applied for a divorce and we need to sort finances. He asked me to get 3 house valuations done. I have done this and got them in writing and sent them to him.

Now he says he "has been advised" to get his own 3 valuations as well. He doesn't say who advised him - he has a solicitor but is also using his company's accountant who seems to be pushing him to take as much of my money as he can. I feel like a solicitor would only require 3 up to date valuations, not 6!

I said no I will not let him get 3. He said I just need to be in to let them in. I said no, I had to show them round and pretend to be selling the house when in fact I'm buying him out. I work from home and I'm struggling to fit in my 37 hours a week around getting the kids up, school run x 2 and making tea, as it is. He used to do pick up from school but has stopped since moving out and is not helping at all in the week (other than taking each of the 2 boys to a sport club on their own, after tea 1 night a week each).

He now says I have to tell him when I will be out, he will wait in his car, use his keys which he didn't return to let the estate agents into my house alone and unaccompanied.

AIBU to say no this is not acceptable? And that 3 valuations are enough anyway?

Put it in the hands of your solicitor, and have minimal contact.

All contact is via my sister at the moment anyway on police advice. Yes I agree just solicitor may be best but that option will cost an arm and a leg which I don't have to spare, as I'm trying to buy him out.

Unfortunately I think this will have have to be left up to the solicitors to sort out.

Just ignore ignore ignore. Tell your sister to also ignore unless it’s his solicitor.

Giving him any attention will just keep this going forever. Get your sister to tell him you will only speak to his solicitor and then block everywhere.

Do you have children?

Change the locks.

It is fair for him to get his own valuations if he does not trust yours, ask your solicitor how many and arrange it. What he can't do is come into the house. What percentage of the house do you each own? You surely want a LOW valuation, so you are not "selling" it. You need to be rid of him and this is how to get there; I get that the admin side of a break-up is irritating, but dragging it out and quibbling over £5k one way or the other will not be good for you.

Also as you have a non-mol in place and the police are involved you may qualify for legal aid - this is something worth looking into.

I have 4 children. 2 of them are his.

Why wouldn't he trust my valuations though? If you tell estate agents you want a valuation for buying out purposes then they charge you for it. You have to pretend you want to move in order to get the valuations. They are higher than I would have liked as they are the optimistic marketing figures!

I will look at the legal aid situation thank you. And try to go via solicitors only. And change the locks - the reason I didn't want expense and not wanting to upset the kids.

If the valuations are higher due to marketing to sell, wouldn’t it be cheaper to pay for the buying out valuations instead?

@Downandout43 - paying for the valuation is more appropriate than lying, a surveyor does not need to be lied to and will look for the real valuation not an optimistic one. It does not help you to let estate agents add £'0ks to your buy-out price rather than paying £100-300 for a proper survey.

What would b3 the best approach, is for both your solicitors to jointly agree on one or more surveying firm. Then pay them to do it properly, but both of you be bound by the results. (If you show them round, point out all flaws.)

Good points, thank you.

I'd let him have the valuations, he is just as entitled as you are to get them. But I'd change the locks, he doesnt get to let himself in.

I only got the first 3 valuations at his request! He could have specified which estate agents at the time. It will have to be my time used up to do another 3 as he's not allowed in my house and I'm not having him letting people in while I'm out.

Just let them come and let them in and ignore them , don't bother tidying up especially. Just say it's for a divorce and husband has arranged valuation. The EA won't care

I'd have thought the sensible thing would be to agree a surveyor to value the property for the purpose of buying out? I think going with 3 sale valuations is going to cost you far more in the long term

That does send better (surveyor for buying out) as the estate agents are being optimistic with their valuations. I will speak to my solicitor this week and propose that and get them to propose to his solicitor.

As pp's have said, pay for a surveyor - don't use an estate agent. They will add £££ and will also base their valuations on what houses in the area have sold for - what if those houses have had bidding wars and as a result, sold for a lot more than they're actually worth! When we were buying our house it was on the market for £25k more than what our surveyor said it was worth 🤷🏼‍♀️

Your solicitor can use it in your favour; "Due to your client stating he is not happy with the valuations, we propose a RICS surveyor from a recognised national firm: Countrywide, Crawford or Ridge; jointly pay for the survey and agree to be bound by the results".
It will be lower value but then he is stuck accepting it.

I would imagine the estate agent he has in mind is a friend of a friend.

Thank you, that's a great suggestion.