Morning all. First, I know I’m going to sound a bit pathetic but I’m genuinely very nervous and just want support/advice/to be told to calm the heck down.
My eldest DS is 21, in his 3rd year of uni in London. I’m from a hardworking but not particularly well-off family, I grew up (and still live in) the northwest, mum was a doctor’s receptionist and dad a police officer. I don’t remember going without but have realised as I got older that we didn’t have it all. My husband is a doctor, he does some private work to push our earnings up and both of our DS have been privately educated, this was mainly as none of the local schools felt a good fit, they did state school for primary and had partial scholarships from Y9 on (sport and academic) so their fees were less the £10,000 a year each, I know this is still ridiculous.
My DS has a new Girlfriend (since summer), she is 20, some impressive concoction of European nationalities and from a quite frankly sickeningly well-off family (DS has told me this, he said it was a warning, so I didn’t feel uncomfortable when I met her). He told me that she went to very expensive Swiss boarding school, has had a very (very) expensive central London flat bought for her, family owns many properties, no stranger to a private jet etc. More of a generational wealth that’s accumulated into the many many millions type of family.
Now this is so far from what I know, I’m a teacher in a normal state school, I see children every day who come from families that struggle to feed and dress them, through absolutely no fault of their own. I fundamentally disagree with wealth on the level this girl appears to be from, I think it is entirely excessive. I’ve never actually met someone who could be called ‘rich’. Obviously, my children went to school with some well-off children and even that was alien to me, but non were on the level this girl appears to be.
I got a little nosey and got DS2 to have a little snoop on DS1’s Instagram, found the girls Instagram and to add to her already seemingly incredible luck in life, she is also very attractive (some pictures on there make me think she maybe did professional modelling at some point). I spent a lot of my teen years being bullied by very attractive girls and still carry a small complex as a result, so when accumulated with the wealth and intelligence (admittedly this in an assumption but she is multi-lingual and at a top uni, so I think it is a safe assumption.) I’m terrified of meeting her. DS is bringing her round for lunch today as they went to one of his old friend’s weddings yesterday and it wasn’t far from where we live. It will just be a couple of hours as they must get back down for uni, but I haven’t slept with nerves. I know it sounds utterly pathetic, but it is true. I keep trying to tell myself she will be perfectly lovely and just like anyone else, but I’m terrified she will judge us (I know I know reverse snobbery, but it isn’t intentional), have nothing to talk about with us etc. DS has tried to reassure me by pointing out that she loves tennis so we can talk about that and that she isn’t braggy or horrible, won’t mention anything about her background and spent her first year at uni in student halls so has left her privileged bubble, but I’m still terrified. I also don’t want to upset her, be too much or anything like that as I have had a MIL from hell and would hate to be that!!
AIBU to feel like this? Can you help me sort my head out before they arrive?