Is this too much alcohol?

[knowledgeablyclueless]

My partner has a very high tolerance. Lads night is every Thursday where he can easily knock back 5 or 6 pints and have no ill effects.

What bothers me is the quantity he drinks with his dad when they go out - tonight they've gone to the rugby where 10-15 pints for them individually is normal.

This happens at most big events they both go to, plus any other lads night out - birthday, mates holiday etc. His dad is a binge drinker and will drink all this plus a bottle of wine on his own.

I drink myself but feel unsure about saying something, is this a normal amount for a bloke to drink?!

No, that is not normal, that is serious binge drinking.
The fact his tolerance is so high is concerning. There are health risks (CVD, cancer, risk of dementia, liver disease to name a few) with drinking so much so frequently too.

What she said above

Honestly, 5-6 pints is too much

People often normalise their drinking by spending time with other heavy drinkers.

Yes say something. My DH is a doctor and seen too many people die due to heavy drinking.

His high tolerance is covering the huge amount of damage this is doing to him.

There are lots of charities giving advice on how to cut down. GP also will help.

But no-one can stop someone else from drinking if they don't want to.

Work out how many units that adds up to and compare it with the alcohol consumption guidelines, then you'll see how much you should be worried. I suspect if his father drinks even more than he does and the argument is "he's still ok" then you might have your work cut out convincing him he should be careful. As PP said, the high tolerance is not the good thing you (and presumably he) seem to think it is. The ill effects are there but invisible and can be for a long time but they are permanent.

Thank you. I asked him how many pints he'd had this weekend on a day out with his dad and he said he wasn't sure, maybe 10-12 but could have been more like 8 or 9. I told him I didn't want him drinking that much anymore and he said he'd make an effort to cut right down for me.

Drinkers who habitually binge drink only cut down or stop if they want to. Not for someone else. The fact his father is also a problem drinker is a major red flag.

He won't 'cut down for you'.

He'll only cut down if/when he decides he wants to.

If he's regularly drinking only once a week and then a few bigger outings a year, it might not be ideal, but I don't think it's in the problem drinking category.

I, as a fairly slight woman drink 4/5 on a night out once or twice a month and when I have a day out watching sport 8/9 pints during the full day, maybe 6 times a year.

I barely touch a drop the rest of the time.

Why don't you want him drinking that much? How does it affect you? If it's over a full day and not that frequently, it doesn't seem like an issue to me.

I do it now and again. I'm away from home while I do it, but I would be if I went to watch the sport without drinking. Drinking slowly, spread over a day, I'll be fine doing whatever's needed of me next day.

I don't drink myself, but much of the Puritanism on MN about drinking irritates me sometimes.

For me, a partner who enjoys a good few pints now and then, pays the bills, is not in debt, works hard, job is going ok, looks after other half and kids if any, is sound as a pound in my view.

OK drinking vast amounts every day is a problem as it is a slippery slope, but once a week or so, that's alright. Of course there may be health problems at some point but that could happen to non drinkers also, and it has.

If it gets to the point where the levels of drinking are causing issues in a relationship or for the family, fair enough, otherwise it is useless trying to tell and adult what to do. They will rebel and resent being told off, and go and do what they want to anyway.

Just my 10c or 10p.