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To have had it with my children...

10 replies

Iaminthefly · 10/02/2024 17:48

Lone parent to five year old twins. Dad has no involvement. My only help with them are my elderly parents.

I love them dearly of course but tonight I am at breaking point. Since they started school their behavior has altered and not for the better. Answering me back, mimicking my voice, constantly demanding, NEVER listening to me. We've been out for the day today and it has been torture. They were SO bad. We've come home and I've put them in their room for the night because I don't think i can keep my cool otherwise. I never put them in their room normally but i just can't cope tonight.

I need some advice. I can just see it getting worse with time and my sanity slowly evaporating.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

24 votes. Final results.

You are being unreasonable
You are NOT being unreasonable
Iaminthefly · 10/02/2024 17:49

I can't even send them to my parents tonight as my DM in unwell and I don't want to put on her!

OP posts:
alldone · 10/02/2024 18:05

Twins are hard. They feed off each other’s behaviour and form a small gang of two. I have twins and singletons and the twins are harder to parent without a doubt.
Be kind to yourself. You have done the right thing by keeping them safe and looking out for you.
My tip for times like these are do what you need for you now and when things are going better that is the time to impose hard and fast rules. Be strict when you feel great and relax the rules when it suits you, when you need a break. No telly normally before bed for example, becomes a special treat when it suits you. When you need some time so you don’t all go to bed crying (been there, done that)
Of course you don’t reward bad behaviour but you do what you need to so you can keep going.
Good luck, you are amazing however you parent them as you are there, loving them and helping them every step of the way, even when they are terrors.😀

alldone · 10/02/2024 18:07

PS when particularly stressed and before they could tell the time, bedtime was sometimes early as I was tired. They didn’t know and I got a chance to destress that bit.

Iaminthefly · 10/02/2024 19:50

@alldone They totally gang up on me. They laugh in my face when i tell them off and I just end up losing it!

I have nobody to back me up either. It's all on me and I don't know how to handle it!

I definitely need to be stricter. They aren't remotely scared of me. They are still careering around their room.

I don't feel like i'm doing a good job. I feel useless.

OP posts:
alldone · 11/02/2024 09:09

Please be kind to yourself. You are there, their Dad is not. He is the useless parent not you.
Today is a new day. Make it work for you. Try if you can to have some low key fun. Not out all day just a little thing you all like. It will not be perfect, they will test you but you are their world and they are thriving in your care. Being naughty is normal. Copying behaviour learnt at school is normal. Not easy to deal with but OK. You are doing a great job but you are tired and it is sometimes hard. Go easy on yourself and make the changes you want to when it suits you to. No comparisons to singleton parents with lots of support. You do what will make your lives work best.
Good luck and a hug from me.

Yutes · 11/02/2024 09:19

They are testing your boundaries OP. is there any way you can separate them when they are being naughty?
You are doing a good job. It is hard!

Zanatdy · 11/02/2024 09:21

You 100% need to be stricter. If they are mimicking you, put some consequences in place, for all negative behaviour as if they are doing this at 5, things will get a whole lot worse unless you put some boundaries in place around acceptable behaviour

user146990847100 · 11/02/2024 09:23

we didn’t have twins, but our two are 12mths apart - divide and conquer OP. Send one to Grandparents to spend quality time with the other, once your mum is feeling better obviously.
It wont be like this forever.

Oneearringlost · 11/02/2024 09:30

I don't want to make you feel worse, but the imitating your voice HAS to stop!
Poor behaviour is one thing, but this is derisive and slightly premeditated scorn, at 5!
There have to be consequences for that.
No wonder its upsetting. 💐

betterchangemynamequick · 11/02/2024 10:00

How are things this morning OP? Hope you had a decent sleep and feel a bit better. No twin experience but parenting is hard, doubly so when you haven't got backup. Is Homestart or anything similar available in your area? Really do contact them for some support and respite time if so. Hugs to you, I hope things get easier for you soon

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