My husband has a habit of expanding everywhere.
The children have now grown up so there is more room in the house.
The spaces that are 'his' are
- Former child's bedroom 1 - used as an office
- Former child's bedroom 2 - used as a workroom
- Former child's bedroom 3 - he goes off to sleep there. We both sleep more lightly now and keep each other awake/wake each other up
All the above spaces are quite full of stuff that he likes to hold onto and have visible. There are things on every surface. He has hobbies/interests which normally involve buying equipment, and even when the interest passes he likes to hold onto everything he's bought.
- He also has space in our shared bedroom, where he keeps clothes.
- There are a great many tools etc that are his - but which we rarely use, cluttering up a conservatory type space off the kitchen. Similarly the loft is mostly full of things that are his, which might come in useful.
There is no space that is really 'mine', because we do share a bedroom. Obviously the living room and kitchen are shared space.
There is a downstairs room which is mostly mine, but there are some papers in a filing cabinet there, so he will sometimes come in to get.
He is not a really bad hoarder, but he does like to hold onto stuff, so clutter often accumulates.
Sometimes too, he will want to leave his stuff in a shared space, because that way he will remember to do something. I told him that I wasn't willing to have his blood pressure pills on the table where we eat all day, because it's just a bit unsightly to have this stuff around all the time. And if friends come for coffee you don't want them looking at pills.
This morning there was a difference of opinion because he wanted use of the kitchen table to do his blood pressure, while I was in the middle of clearing up, and clearing. He claimed this was the 'only' space, where he could do this properly - lying his arm flat, and having room to lay out the monitor. I pointed out all the other rooms he could use, and he said no none of them had enough clear space.
I said in that case he needed to tidy up, and that anything medical like that needed to be done upstairs.
What do you reckon? It sounds a bit petty written down, but I do like to have a bit of space that feels mine, and also for the shared space not to be taken over.