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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Advice really needed!

17 replies

Myusernameisunique · 09/02/2024 17:07

So. My DP has been dismissed from his job. Long story short it happened extremely quickly, without any warning and any chance to explain himself or rectify the situation. A lot of it seems to be a bit like it's coming from what someone has said and no evidence to back it up. He was good friends with his boss and had been asked to come work for him after contracting to him previously. He works in the building trade just for info. He did meet with his boss to speak about the issues highlighted but it was a bit pointless. His boss didn't want to listen. Im worried sick as we need his income to keep our home and two daughters. I do work part time but his wage is obviously a lot more than mine. I have considered writing an email and sending it to his ex boss explaining a few things and asking he reconsider and give DP a chance to set whatever he thinks has went wrong right. I haven't sent it but I'm so desperate I'm considering it. We are really in trouble without DPs job and I feel like it's worth a go. So what I'm asking for is an opinion from others that aren't in my slightly blinkered desperate place. WIBU to send the email? He may not even reply and that would be ok but at least I'd know I'd tried everything. How would you feel if you found out your partner had sent an email asking for your job back? I think I'd be ok with it if it got me my job back but again I'm not thinking neutrally at the moment so I can't really say for sure.

OP posts:
foodtoorder · 09/02/2024 17:10

Don't sent the email.
What ever your dp did was clearly enough to be dismissed, would he really want to go back to them even if it wasn't?
If he's in the building trade I am sure he can find more work.

TheNuttyNatterer · 09/02/2024 17:10

I don’t think you should get involved. If anyone should send an email to explain the whole story it should be your DP.

LightSwerve · 09/02/2024 17:11

Don't send anything, it is not your job.

Focus on finding a new job. There is a shortage in your DH's industry so surely won't take long? He could get agency work next week.

Myusernameisunique · 09/02/2024 17:11

I should also add that DP has been on numerous interviews this week and had a few rejections today. All have said he was great but they went another way. This is a hard time of year in the building trade for contracts and work so it's understandable there's not a lot about and there's a lot of people applying. That's obviously making me feel even more desperate.

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 09/02/2024 17:12

Can he work for himself?

MiddleagedBeachbum · 09/02/2024 17:12

No way, do not send that email!!!

Muchof · 09/02/2024 17:14

No you definitely should not send that email, that is excruciating.

It all sounds very curious though, I would want my DP to find out what exactly is the problem.

Myusernameisunique · 09/02/2024 17:14

@Theunamedcat he'll definitely pick up contracting work if he can't get another employed job. There's not a lot about the now though. He's had this kind of situation before when he was a contractor as it's more fickle but always managed to pick up new work starting the next week or even day but it seems to be very sparse at the moment.

OP posts:
HelloWorldItsNiceToMeetYou · 09/02/2024 17:15

He needs to speak to ACAS for advice. They give free advice about things like this and will advise him if he has potentially been wrongfully dismissed, or anything like that

www.acas.org.uk

Acas | Making working life better for everyone in Britain

Acas is the workplace expert for England, Wales and Scotland. We provide free and impartial advice for employers and employees, training and help resolve disputes.

http://www.acas.org.uk

Myusernameisunique · 09/02/2024 17:18

@HelloWorldItsNiceToMeetYou unfortunately employment is under 2 years so you literally have no rights. We looked into it. Thank you for that though. It's infuriating. He literally got an email one morning from his boss telling him not to go to work, that his boss was going on holiday and if he wanted to chat when he got back he could get in touch. No forewarning. Nothing. The reasons outlined in the email were trivial and had never been mentioned before. Some were untrue as well which I know as fact. It was handled abysmally.

OP posts:
MrsMoastyToasty · 09/02/2024 17:19

He needs to speak to an employment solicitor or ACAS. You cannot do it for him.
But why would he want to work for someone who has already treated him badly?
Maybe it's time to set up his own business.

Myusernameisunique · 09/02/2024 17:25

Thanks everyone. I know it's a bad idea really. It just comes from a place of me being devastated for him, worried and desperate. He is trying really hard to get something else and has been at interviews every day. Just no success as of yet. Please don't think badly of me. I'm just so worried. If there is anyone here in a position to give any legal advice I'd be more than happy to have it but we were told my Citizens Advice that because he hasn't been employed for 2 years his boss can basically do as they please and dismiss him without any warning and for no reason is they like.

OP posts:
MadDogMama · 09/02/2024 17:28

Don't send the email.

Imagine the laughs they would have that his wife emailed to beg for his job back.

Focus your energy on finding jobs for him to apply for.

LonginesPrime · 09/02/2024 17:41

Don't send it.

No-one thinks badly of you, OP, but the situation is out of your control and there's nothing that you can do to change it.

Just focus on the pieces of the puzzle that you can control (being supportive and positive, etc) and accept that there are some things that you can't control.

Myusernameisunique · 10/02/2024 14:28

I absolutely won't send it. Will just keep my fingers crossed something turns up for him. And hope that karma comes back to bite his boss in a big way!

OP posts:
Babsexxx · 11/02/2024 09:20

We run a home improvements company and are absolutely stacked with work for all aspects of building works! He shouldn’t have any trouble getting hired, i wouldn’t even bother emailing his old boss.

Honestly he could snap up a job in the building trade at the minute, good luck and try to remain calm.

Purplewarrior · 11/02/2024 09:26

As he has been employed less than two years, yes they can just dismiss him. I am assuming there’s no discrimination going on here.

They should pay him in lieu of contractual notice though. What is his notice period? Plus any holiday pay owed.

Aside from that, shoulders back and hunting for a new job is the only thing to do. Good luck.

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