lack of thought for gifts, im not happy

[aginglikeafinewine]

so at Christmas about a week before my boyfriend of three years told me he hadnt bought me any gifts and what did i want.
I said a frying pan, which i did need.

i got the frying pan, but am i unreasonable to be annoyed that he hadnt put any effort in? i bought him several thoughtful gifts and he hadnt a clue what to get me. We spend enough time together that he would be able to think of things, i just feel like he never put any effort in

It has made me not want to get him anything for valentines day because might might again not put any effort in

Yanbu. You should have not asked for the frying pan, you let him off the hook.

Don’t get him Valentine’s Day, Birthday or Christmas presents UNTIL he understands you get what you give.

Did he buy his family gifts?

Some people aren't good at gifts. I'm not, and DH isn't, so we either tend to be very specific with what we want, jointly agree not to do gifts, or book a meal/holiday as our joint present. For example, we just don't do Valentine's Day. If gifts are important to you, you need to tell him so he can prioritise that. It sounds like receiving (and giving) gifts is your love language. His might be something different. It also depends how you were raised, if his family aren't big into celebrating occasions and buying gifts he might not realise it's important to you. He did at least get you something for Christmas, but I wouldn't hold my breath he'll make an effort for V Day.

It is shit and YANBU but.....

Some people have no imagination when it comes to buying gifts. Me being one of them 😂
I always feel really terrible that I usually buy my husband some tool or other that he has asked for but I don't have the imagination think up thoughtful gift ideas for him. 🙈

That’s rubbish. I have told dh what I want for my birthday but we’ve been married 20 years and I really want a Dyson hairdryer (and it was on offer so I unsubtly sent him a link). But he’ll also use his initiative. Boyfriend sounds lazy.