To try and push for ovary removal?

[MumofBoys674]

I’ve had horrendous periods for as long as I can remember, always very heavy and very painful, often can’t leave the house for the first 2-3 days each month. I also get a lot of burst ovarian cysts and have had to have an emergency operation before for this.

I also get daily pain, it affects my bowels and other parts of my body and almost feels like a chronic illness because I’m constantly anaemic and feeling pretty crap all of the time.

I have 2 children, early 30’s (well 31 to be exact), one of my children has additional needs. I have asked several times for my ovaries to be removed because of how unwell they make me - with my periods but also the constant hormone fluctuations.

They have previously said no incase I want more children later on in life. I can’t imagine having anymore, I had my last child 8 years ago, I have a chronic autoimmune illness and my last pregnancy was very traumatic and left me with severe mental health issues for a good couple of years after birth.

However, I can never say never once life has settled down maybe in a few years time and the kids are older I could potentially change my mind and considering the fact that I am in my 30’s and am nowhere near even having another relationship let alone another child, I have been looking into freezing my eggs just for that peace of mind if I do get 5-6 years down the line and would like another child with another partner etc.

If I do go ahead with this and overcome that ‘fertility barrier’ to having my ovaries removed, AIBU to then go back and push for it now that can’t be used as an excuse?

My mother also had her ovaries removed in her 30’s due to issues like mine and an increased risk of ovarian cancer.

The complications you could suffer after going through early menopause though. I’m not saying you aren’t wrong to want your suffering eased, I had a total hysterectomy in my 40’s due to horrendous periods, but menopause isn’t a walk in the park for lots of women, even on HRT, and I feel I’m one of the lucky ones who’s got off lightly!
Add in the increased risk of cardiovascular disease, osteoporosis on top of the brain fog, lichen sclerosis, thinning hair, collagen loss which increases wrinkles, bowel changes, itching ears, mood changes, sleeplessness, anxiety etc etc and I can understand their reluctance tbh.
I’m sorry you are suffering, it really is hell, are their no other treatment options for you?

Have you looked into being able to have it done privately? Having treatment to collect your eggs is thousands, then there are annual storage fees on top, it might be a pretty similar price to have an Oophorectomy tbh.

I don't know much about this but doesn't the progesterone only contraceptive pill stop periods - could you try that?

If you wish to retain fertility this isn’t a viable option.

If you are done with children - do it !
No one else should decide for you if you want kids later in life. Especially if that causes so much pain, I'd go for it. I hate it when women are expected to put up with such discomfort, yet if men had that - that would be solved within months.

I’m surprised they’re worried about you wanting another child rather than the effects of early menopause - that would be my main concern.

What other avenues have been explored? Hormone treatment - have your hormone levels been checked? Do you have PCOS (sounds like it?) and if so have you tried Inositol supplements which are supposed to help a lot? I would want to try everything else before effectively putting myself into early menopause, but perhaps you have tried everything.

I was 42 when I had mine out - a year after DS2 was born. I don’t know whether my surgeon would have been so keen if I was 10 years younger - he focused on whether or not I wanted more children and it was a definite no for me after 2 DC and 3 mcs.

I had keyhole surgery and the menopause was a walk in the park for me. The worst symptom was weight gain, but I have to admit that chocolate is also responsible for that.

If you have any thought of more children, I don’t think that any surgeon would go ahead.