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Original poster

All my friends are better than me

13 replies

Booyakasha · 09/02/2024 13:23

They just are.

At school, I had a couple of friends who were v wealthy (I’m average middle class I’d say 🤷🏻‍♀️)
I also had a couple of friends who were beautiful, but most of my friends throughout my life have been similar age, background and attractiveness. I love mixing with different people of different ages & nationalities and it’s never bothered me before.
Now I’m mid 40’s and starting to feel a bit differently. I had my dc a bit later due to infertility, so my new friends are average 6-10 years younger. They’re all better looking and they all have more money etc. I’ve never been made to feel any different, but am starting to feel it now, whereas at 40, it didn’t even cross my mind.

OP posts:
ZekeZeke · 09/02/2024 13:37

Comparison is the thief of joy.
Live your life, lots don't get to do that.

FoonSpeeder · 09/02/2024 13:38

No one is better than you, ever.

MorrisZapp · 09/02/2024 13:40

I suppose the question must be, do you consider yourself to be better than people with less money than you, or people who are less objectively attractive?

Therein lies the answer.

hottchocolate · 09/02/2024 13:56

Even if they have more money than you they're not "better".

You also definitely don't know the full story or what else they have to deal with.

Try not to compare yourself as it won't serve to help you.

kcchiefette · 09/02/2024 13:59

The question is, why do you feel like comparing yourself?

All my friends growing up were living in lovely big detached houses with their parents. I lived in a council estate my whole childhood with my single mum.

I still live in a council estate.

I was recently out having a drink with my friends and one of them broke down to me saying she was in a lot of financial difficulty etc. This was after we all complimented on her amazing new house that seemed perfect!

There's a lot more behind the scenes of most peoples lives. As long as YOU are content and make the most of what you have, dont pay attention to anybody else.

Luxell934 · 09/02/2024 14:03

MorrisZapp · 09/02/2024 13:40

I suppose the question must be, do you consider yourself to be better than people with less money than you, or people who are less objectively attractive?

Therein lies the answer.

This.

Makes you seem quite shallow actually. Maybe choose poorer/less attractive friends so you can feel good?

Someone having more money than you doesn’t make them “better” than you

Someone being more attractive than you doesn’t make them “better” than you

uselessmummy123 · 09/02/2024 14:34

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And good make up. Days I'm at home I look hideous but if I say so myself I'm good at make up and like to think I scrub up quite well.

The majority of my friends are skint. Have young kids and have to return to work after 9 months. I have one friend who's well off and was given a £700,000 house by her parents.. but it's fallen in her lap, she hasn't "worked" for it.

Of course if I compare myself to Kim Kardashian I'm a poor.. but compare myself to my neighbour who hides from the bailiffs on a regular basis I'm Alan sugar. It's all perspective.

Also.. your health is your wealth.

rainydaysandwednesdays · 09/02/2024 14:39

uselessmummy123 · 09/02/2024 14:34

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And good make up. Days I'm at home I look hideous but if I say so myself I'm good at make up and like to think I scrub up quite well.

The majority of my friends are skint. Have young kids and have to return to work after 9 months. I have one friend who's well off and was given a £700,000 house by her parents.. but it's fallen in her lap, she hasn't "worked" for it.

Of course if I compare myself to Kim Kardashian I'm a poor.. but compare myself to my neighbour who hides from the bailiffs on a regular basis I'm Alan sugar. It's all perspective.

Also.. your health is your wealth.

Oh how fantastically put! Great advice 😄

Oneearringlost · 09/02/2024 14:39

Have you ever thought that as a (I'm assuming, probably nice person), your friends just like you. Isn't that enough?

Sure, I do realise, it's nice to feel attractive, etc... but, in the end, we are ALL just trying to survive this life, and being decent us good

Heatherbell1978 · 09/02/2024 14:43

I know plenty of people who are wealthier, thinner and more attractive than me. Many of them are entitled, unkind and self-absorbed. So not particularly nice people. That stands out to me more than their looks or bank balance. Damn right they're not better than me. You need to practice telling yourself this. And make sure your kids don't grow up thinking they are worth less than others.

Augustus40 · 09/02/2024 14:47

Once you scratch the surface you will find everybody has cares and concerns. No matter how they appear outwardly.

BobbyBiscuits · 09/02/2024 14:51

Would you prefer it if your friends were a lot older, much less attractive, broke and miserable? It wouldn't change your own circumstances but knowing your friends are struggling is stressful. Be glad they are seemingly doing well, but know one thing, they are far from perfect and there's no point comparing people anyway. They like you for yourself, not for your looks or money. And hopefully you feel the same way about them.

stayathomer · 09/02/2024 14:57

I think they’d find it sad that you even think that as it means you can’t fully be yourself around them op. People just want to enjoy friendships, I wouldn’t think they’d want to think you think it. I don’t know how you get over it though x

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